God is Crazy

God is so funny.  It blows my mind when he reveals little tiny pieces of his plan to us, and I just picture him smiling and chuckling when he does so.

When I found out I was pregnant, I literally laughed out loud and thought to myself how crazy God is.  How crazy GOOD he is.  To us.  And at arranging things in our lives to align perfectly.  According to His will.  He must just sit up there and laugh.  Not in an evil way… but in a wise old grandpa sort of way.  I would. 

Through this whole “finding out we’re pregnant” thing, I wanted to share with you how God has revealed himself to us (so far!)

In August, after being at my job for almost a year, I felt that the time was right for me to move on so I began to search for a new job.  After only a few weeks of searching, I got a call to come in for an interview!  It went GREAT.  Probably one of the best interviews I have ever had.  I was so excited! 

A week after the interview, I felt very strongly that I should resign from my current (at the time) position.  Quitting your job before you have something else lined up is ALWAYS scary, but I had faith that God was going to handle the situation.  He has proven this to me before, in life AND with my job status.  I knew that if I released my concerns and trusted Him fully that He would take care of me.   I turned in my letter of resignation.  My boss asked if I would be willing to stay on through the end of the month (September) and I was more than happy to help with the transition.   All the while, I was still praying over the potential of a new job and God’s will for my life. 

Well.  4 days later… Guess what?? We found out I was pregnant.  My head was filled with so much, joy, excitement, fear… it was swirling with so many thoughts.  The news would definitely take a LONG time to sink in (in many ways I feel like it still doesn’t fully seem real yet!)  I thought, “Okay, THIS is what God wants me to do now!  OBVIOUSLY.  Clear cut sign.  No questions.  That crazy God.  He is so crazy!”  Less than 24 hours later, I received a call asking if I could come in for a second interview.  What?!  I thought God was telling me to be a mom.  Now he is presenting this opportunity too?  My brain already wasn’t functioning properly… processing the fact that I was going to be in charge of a miniature human person and now I had to figure out how I was going to handle this whole “job” thing!

I took a day or so to think about it.  I just didn’t feel right continuing with the interview process without being completely honest with my potential new employer… especially if I was still 50/50 on whether I would be working or not after the baby is born.  I have always pictured myself as a stay-at-home-mom while we have kids at home, but I had never considered what my life would look like if it was a good work situation, part time, childcare on site… that would change things.  And if God was putting this opportunity in front of me SURELY that’s what is meant to be, right?!  But I had to be honest with them.  I sent an email explaining the situation and stated that unless a temporary position or some other arrangement was possible, I just wasn’t ready to make that decision yet (and that it wasn’t fair to them).  I just wasn’t sure yet.  I didn’t think I would need to seriously think about this for another year or so.  Well, turns out they still wanted me to come in to discuss the position!  At that time I thought, “Surely this is God showing me I AM supposed to take this job!” 

After the second interview, I was feeling much more apprehensive about the job.  Not the actual job but… taking the job given the circumstances.  After talking it over with Ryan that night, we decided it would be best for us (and for my potential new employer) for me to not take the position.  It didn’t really seem fair to put THEM in a tough spot.  (Plus it’s not like I could just take the job and then in 9 months decide it wasn’t going to work… people would obviously KNOW why I was quitting!) 

The next day, I got a call offering me the job.  It was SO hard turning it down, because I really liked the people and environment that I would have been working in.   But I just felt wrong accepting a job that I KNEW I would be quitting in…less than 8 months. 

YIKES.  Can you say whirlwind?  I can’t even begin to tell you how confusing this all was.  So much to think about!  But I can say that through all of this confusion and craziness, God has opened my eyes and revealed his will for my life at this time.  His timing is beyond perfect and he truly is the one in control. It must be… humorous for God to watch us run around and freak out about stuff… all the while thinking “Just wait.  You’ll see.” Probably still chuckling.