Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breastfeeding. Show all posts

Monday, July 20, 2015

Weaning

After breastfeeding for a full year, weaning can seem like quite a daunting and overwhelming task. Not only does it take work on mom and dad's part, but it also depends on how baby takes it as well! I wanted to share my experience with weaning, because until Heidi WAS totally weaned I had no idea how it was going to go! Around 6 months, Heidi started showing interest in what Ryan and I were eating. After getting approval from our doctor, we started letting her taste things off of our plates. (We were not making anything separate for her at that point.) Following her 9 month doctor appointment, we started mashing up bananas, steaming sweet potatoes and making other mushy things for her. By the time Heidi was 10 months old, we were giving her 3 “meals” per day, although at that point I was not concerned with quantities or calories or any of that stuff, we were just letting her try things. (Maybe a few bites of mashed up liquified banana with breakfast, or some mushed up squash [which she hated] at dinner, etc.) Plus at that time she was still nursing 4 times per day as well! Around 11 months, the “meals” turned into more of actual meals and less like just snacks. (So maybe, some very small steamed chunks of sweet potato with some cheerios and cut up mandarin orange slices, for example.) About this same time (11 months), I started the process of cutting out nursing sessions. Initially, I tried to cut the afternoon feeding out first, however that made for a VERY difficult evening/dinner time. By the time Ryan got home from work she was a mess. It was rough! So after just a few days of that, I decided to cut the lunch time feeding instead. It was much easier to cut this feeding because it was replaced with a "meal". (So I was still nursing in the morning before breakfast, once in the late afternoon and then night time right before bed, but hadn’t introduced cow’s milk yet.) After a few days (or maybe a week or two?) of that schedule, I started replacing those 3 remaining nursing sessions with bottles.  
At first, Heidi refused to drink cow’s milk (especially cold), so I started off by giving her a bottle that was 75% breastmilk and 25% whole milk, warmed. (We did 6-8oz, 3 times per day as recommended by our pedi... one right when she woke up before breakfast, one right after lunch before nap and the last one after bath time right before bed.) Over the course of just a few days, I gradually mixed in less and less breast milk and also warmed it less and less. After less than a week she went from drinking mostly breastmilk (warm) to drinking 100% cold cow’s milk! Since we had only half-way transitioned to a sippy cup at that point, I just stuck with the bottle since that’s what we were familiar with and I was already overwhelmed with so many changes. (I was not concerned at that point with eliminating the bottle because I wanted her to chug 8 oz. of milk at one time - something that doesn't seem to happen with a sippy cup or straw.) We were using sippy cups for water during meals by that point though.  
During the week or two where I started replacing nursing sessions with the bottle… I don’t think I went into it with a specific schedule or plan. I just would nurse every now and then or if I woke up feeling especially engorged or something like that. By the time we were about a week out from her first birthday, my boobs had adjusted to nursing once every couple of days. I nursed her for the last time on the morning of her birthday! That was my finish line. Once I crossed that, I had to hand express while I was in the shower…maybe twice?...because I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. I had considered buying some raw cabbage leaves which are supposed to really help decrease your supply (you just put the cold leaves in your bra!) however, hand expressing seemed to do the trick. (It was a different kind of “engorged” feeling really… it was more like smaller hard painful spots rather than that feeling where your whole entire boob feels like it’s just about to explode! I think just that short amount of time was enough for my boobs to get the idea of what was going on.) I also regularly applied peppermint oil (diluted with almond oil) to help with stopping milk production.
So for us, weaning was a process that started very slowly around 6-9 months, and then between 11-12 months it all happened very quickly (and easily)! Since then, we have learned so much more about what works for us, what Heidi likes and how much she eats. She LOVES fruit but for a while we struggled with getting her to show interest in vegetables. Our pedi recommended veggie noodles - pasta that has 1 full serving of veggies in every serving! Heidi LOVES those and they have definitely a go-to for us for the last 4 months. We also tried Puffs for a while until Heidi had mastered picking stuff up and had gotten used to having food in her mouth (they disintegrate really fast so choking isn’t too much of an issue). However, puffs are expensive and are basically just air (you literally have to eat like, 65 puffs to get 25 calories!) So, we switched over to cheerios pretty quickly – way cheaper for WAY more and actually add SOME sustenance to her tummy! She loves those things. Our other focus was not to place TOO much emphasis on Heidi eating and not to stress out about it. Some days she eats a ton...and some days she doesn't eat that much. That's okay. Just like you and me, some days she is hungrier than other days. One day she LOVES something, the next day she hates it. So we have tried not to freak out over the small stuff. All has worked out just as it should. Hope this has been helpful to anyone confused/stressed/overwhelmed with the weaning process!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Breastfeeding Thoughts - Part 2

SO. Guys. I did it. I breastfed my baby for a FULL year. I never thought I would get there (especially in those first few months after Heidi was born). But I was determined. So the morning of Heidi's 1st birthday, I breastfed her for the last time. It was truly bittersweet. I was torn! I would miss it and my time with her and providing for her in a way that no one and no other thing possibly could. BUT. I was also so pumped for my body to be mine 100% again. No more boobie pads. No more easy-access shirts/outfits. Now that I have a year of breastfeeding under my belt, I figured it was about time to write a follow up post to my original breastfeeding post I wrote back when I was 21 weeks pregnant with Heidi.  At that time, I was super apprehensive about breastfeeding, it sounded terrible and foreign and strange... and my only experiences with it before having a child of my own was other peoples' babies turning their heads and trying to latch because I was holding them in "the" position - SO AWKWARD.  So I just felt awkward about the whole thing in general and was not looking forward to the physical "side effects".

Warning: If you are a brand new mom I suggest that you stop reading this now because it will make you want to scream, cry, freak out and roll on the ground and throw a toddler-style tantrum. Why you ask? (Yes, I know you will continue reading because I know you, new mom.) Breastfeeding sucks. Yeah, it sucks hardcore. It sucks for a LONG time before it gets easier. A long time meaning months. Months doesn't sound like that long of a time... except when you're talking about pure torture every 2.5 - 3 hours, with something pulling, sucking, gnawing on your poor, tender, cracked, bleeding, painful nipples. UGH. Maybe if it were once a day it would be more bearable. But it's not. If someone had told me 1 month into it "Just hang on for a few more months, then it will get easier!" I would have smacked them. Sorry new mamas.

And here's the thing. Breastfeeding wasn't even that difficult for me. Heidi had no latching issues, her "lip tie" (which I'm still not totally convinced is a real thing, but if it is I'm certain she has that based on appearance) didn't affect us in any way, and my only issues with supply was that I was producing WAY too much (which was such a blessing AND a curse.) My only struggles with breastfeeding were no one's but my own. Heidi knew what to do and was doing it perfectly. Breastfeeding was painful - because it's SUPPOSED to be. It's GOING to be. Regardless of how perfect everything is. Because it's new and no matter what kind of stuff you're into, I guarantee you that you have never experienced something sucking your nipples dry THAT many hours per day. My issues with breastfeeding (after Heidi was born) was just that it hurt. And my boobs hurt. And I was leaking ALL over the place constantly.  SOAKING maxi pads. I was constantly a wet, sticky, smelly, disgusting mess. Waking up in PUDDLES. Bra, shirt, sheets, soaked. There are SO many different kinds of issues and difficulties that come with breastfeeding, it can be hard to find women who have never had one single issue or difficulty or struggle with it at all. I would say most women that I know have had some sort of problem at one time or another with breastfeeding. Which, when you're already at your wit's end, can be enough to push you over the edge and give up all together. 

I am convinced that the only way that you can make breastfeeding work is if you are 110% determined. Much like a natural birth - if you go into it like "oh, let's see how this goes we will decide in the moment how to move forward" GUARANTEED you will not have a natural birth. Because it's hard. WAY harder than a non natural birth. (Not saying non-natural is not also extremely difficult, though I don't have any personal experience with this myself.) But it's too easy to give in if you aren't determined. (Even if you are determined you will still have moments where you want to give in to the drugs to take away the pain!) Similarly, breastfeeding also takes total determination and a decision that you have to make and stick to. You must give yourself no choice but to move forward with it no matter what. Quitting is not an option. Sounds kind of terrible doesn't it? It can be. But I promise it's worth it. For months, I had major breakdowns and would get physically ANGRY, saying to myself  "There are women who CHOOSE to do this for YEARS!!! HOW?!?! What is wrong with them!? This is the worst thing ever!" As much as I HATED it for the first several months, I knew that was the only thing I truly wanted. No other options. This was it. So I started setting small goals for myself. "Just make it to 6 weeks." "Okay a few more weeks." "Okay, just make it to 3 months....6 months..." I would say that I had FINALLY found my groove BY 6 months at the latest, and it was then that I knew for sure I was going to make it to a year. By 6 months, I was starting to feel way more comfortable with the idea, was used to the routine and all of the other aspects that came with it. I wouldn't say I ever super duper LOVED it, but I enjoyed our times together. Nursing in the backseat of the car after shopping together, or hanging out in the Nordstroms bathroom/lounge area with 5 other breastfeeding moms... it was also the perfect built in alone time for those times when my baby was constantly being held by friends/family... The perfect excuse to get her back and hold her and spend time with her. The convenience of it is insane (no packing anything related to food/bottles/etc. just bring your boobs!) and IT IS FREE. We never spent a dime on food/formula for Heidi during her first year of life. How awesome is that?? I can't believe more people don't breastfeed for this reason alone!

So my personal plan was to go into breastfeeding as a new mom with minimal knowledge about it, and to not over prepare. I never took a breastfeeding class. I didn't spend hours researching methods, positions, issues, etc. online. I didn't meet in advance with a lactation consultant. I simply spent 10-15 minutes watching youtube videos of a few different breastfeeding positions, googled "Breastfeeding 101" and read a few articles about the basics and that was it. Heidi popped out and knew what to do (although, over time she did improve and became more and more efficient!) I really felt like SHE taught ME! My minimal preparation method worked perfectly for us and though, we still had our own share of difficulty I never allowed myself to get overly stressed, or over think it... before OR after she was here! During pregnancy, I also thought I would spend 3 months pumping, and only breastfeed until Heidi was 3 months, then give her the frozen milk from 3-6 months. As nice as it was to have some breastmilk stashed in the freezer for backup (or for date nights away from baby!) I did not have enough stashed to stop breastfeeding without having to switch over to formula. Pumping is weird and not the worst thing in the world, but it is much more inconvenient than just pulling your shirt down for baby. It takes additional time. Time that is often hard to find with a newborn (especially when you don't HAVE to pump). I was pumping at least twice a day, but it does get old (and many women pump MUCH more than that! Mad props to you!) By 3 months, I knew I could make it to 6 months, and by 6 months I knew I could make it to a full year. So that plan quickly went out the window and I was totally okay with consciously making that decision.

This post is mostly just rambling, stream of consciousness, but I hope by witnessing this journey your eyes are opened to the difficulty, hardships, beauty and (dare I say) wonderfulness that it breastfeeding.  If you are on the fence about it... THAT'S OKAY.  If you're determined... just power through. It WILL get easier. Power through. Power through the tears. Through the discomfort. Through the pain. And if you truly truly just can't handle it, that's okay too. But if it's something that you truly TRULY have the desire to do, you have to hang in there. I know it's easy for me to say that now that I am on the other side, but I have been there. And I can guarantee you that IT. IS. WORTH IT. 100,000%.  Many many days it will feel like you just can't do it. But you can. I know you can, mama. Just hang in there a little bit longer. A few more days. (DAYS?!?! I know you're thinking.) Weeks. (WEEKS?!?!) Yes. One day at a time is all it takes. You can do it. 


Wednesday, January 15, 2014

Breastfeeding Thoughts - Part 1

***Disclaimer:  I am writing this post at 21 weeks of pregnancy.  I have no idea if I will post it now, or wait until after the baby is here.  I am 100% aware that it's hard to truly know how you're going to feel about something before you're actually in that situation, but I'm also interested to see if/how my feelings change once the baby is here (which is why I am recording this now).  I ALSO realize that my opinions might make some moms/people frustrated, possibly angry.  I ask that you please understand that each person is different and that what worked for you might not work for me.  What was a "beautiful magical experience" for you might be horrible for me (or it might not).  Please also know that I am trying to have an open mind on this subject.  Will my thoughts change once I have gone through this myself?  Maybe they will.  And I am open to that.  Or maybe they will not.  You do what's best for your family and I will do what is best for mine.  Please respect that.  Know that I am making a conscious effort to have an open mind for when the time comes.***


So lately I have been feeling a LOT of anxiety about breastfeeding.  BUT not for the same reasons most women stress out about it...

I'm not going to lie here.  Breastfeeding sounds...awful.  Pretty much everything about it sounds terrible to me.  I don't want to constantly feel like a cow.  I don't want something sucking on my nipples until the are dry, cracked and bleeding.  I want to be able to run without being in extreme pain.  I don't want to wake up each day with rock hard painful boobs.  I don't want to be the ONLY one who can feed the baby.  I don't want to breastfeed in public/in front of anyone other than my husband.  At this point, I am quite uncomfortable with the whole situation.  Do I realize that breastfeeding is natural?  Of course.  Do I feel selfish for feeling this way?  Definitely.  Do I feel like bad mom for thinking these thoughts?  You betcha.  But that doesn't change the fact that this is how I (currently) feel.

I am not a rainbows and flowers kind of girl.  I am not about the frills.  Please don't repeat to me what every damn pro-breastfeeding blog out there says about the topic.  "But it's so GREAT being the ONLY one who can provide food for your baby!"  "But you will bond so much MORE with your baby!"  "It's so MAGICAL!"  Telling me about the "magical" experience of leaky cracked nipples is not exactly going to sway me.  Will the ACTUAL experience change how I feel?  Quite possibly.  And I'm trying not to be close-minded on the subject.

But here's the thing.  I completely agree that MY breast milk is truly the best thing for the baby. And that is something that is extremely important to me.   So I have been so stressed out this last week or so trying to figure out what might work best for us, which I am fully aware could change in 1000 different ways once she is here.

Heads up grandma: personal information coming your way.  In a lot of ways, I feel exactly as I did when trying to figure out how I would handle birth control.  After I got engaged, I really struggled with finding what would work for us.  I definitely did not wait for 25 years to have sex to do so with a condom.  Plus, I don't like the idea of there being anything between my husband and I.  But I was also SUPER uncomfortable with the pill.  I hate the idea of putting fake chemicals into my body each and every day and never really having a "true" period.  The world says "Oh it's fine MILLIONS of women take it every day and it's great."  Hmm.  Well, being on my period for our honeymoon was definitely NOT an option.  (I waited almost 26 years I am NOT waiting another week damnit!)  So I broke down and got on the pill.  and I hated it.  After the wedding, I knew I couldn't take it much longer.  But I felt so alone.  I felt like I was the only one in the world not okay with taking birth control.  I work hard to eat well, be healthy, not put fake, processed, chemical garbage into my body... plus the pill made me feel awful in a lot of ways.  (I might post more about this later...)  I just felt like we were out of options.  I had prayed to God long before we were even engaged that he would guide my heart and reveal to me His will for our family planning methods.  I knew He would show me an option that would work for us... and He finally did.  I am so much happier knowing that I don't have to take the pill every day for the rest of my life.  Thank you, God for hearing our prayers and knowing the desires of our hearts.

I know that God created me to be a mom and to provide for my child.  I pray (and know) that He will reveal the best plan that will work for me, my child and our family, just as He has done in the past.  Just because the trend now is "You are a bad mom if you don't breastfeed" doesn't mean that it's true.  (Newsflash: Our grandparents' generation - NO ONE breastfed.  Did our parents turn out okay?  Yup.  Not the end of the world people.)  If you are able to breastfeed and enjoy it - wonderful.  If not - who cares?

I'm sure many people are laughing in my face right now.  Which is fine.  But please don't judge me. and certainly do not patronize me. Because I do not want to hear it.  ("Oh Honey, you just don't get it.  Well, I know better than you...listen to my advice.)  I think I have been pretty clear that that kind of attitude is not constructive here.  Am I niave?  Yup.  Am I a complete idiot?  No.  So don't speak to me like I am.  We are all entitled to our own opinions.  If you are a mom, you have been here before, whether it be with breastfeeding or one of the other million aspects of this process.  Even if you are not a mom, I guarantee that you have been in a place in your life where you have an opinion about something going into it, not really knowing how you will feel once you are on the other side.  Maybe your opinion changed in that situation.  and maybe it didn't.  99% of the reason why I wrote this post is for MYSELF.  For me to look back on.  For me to organize my own thoughts. (The other 1% is for maybe those few women out there who feel the same as I do but are afraid to say so.)  It helps having someone to talk to.  It helps not feeling alone.  I am not posting this so that others can judge, comment and come at me with the "Oh you poor thing you are just so naive" comments.  Yep.  I don't know what I'm doing.  But I also am not afraid to admit it.  So don't speak down on me for that, because it will only make things worse and more stressful.  Just because you think your opinion is the best one out there... Guess what?!  I don't have to agree :)

Well that got a little off topic really fast.  I think every pregnant lady gets frustrated with the mountains and mountains of unsolicited advice that is constantly bombarding you, so I guess I just needed to vent a little!  (And yes, when you are willing to share your thoughts and opinions with the world you definitely have to expect a LOT of that.)

At this point, I am planning on pumping for 3 months.  Half will go to baby and the other half will go into the freezer.  After those first 3 months, we will begin using the stored milk.  This will allow baby to get 6 full months of breast milk.  (This all depends on if I am actually ABLE to produce though, among other things as well.) I realize I am creating more work for myself.  But I'm also a girl who likes options.

Because I am a planner, I will sleep better at night if there IS an actual plan in place, even if down the road it goes completely out the window.  I think we all know what God does to "our" plans though.  I know He will come through with what is right for our family, not only for baby but for mom (and dad) also.

Read my update after a full year of breastfeeding HERE!