Baby #4 on the Way!

It's official! We're pregnant with Baby #4 and are SO excited to become a family of SIX! As always, here are a few of the initial details about growing this new little life!

Due Date: January 19, 2020

How many weeks along am I now: 12 weeks

How big is Baby Kresta: Currently the size of an apricot

Boy or Girl: I have no clue! I'm leaning more towards boy just based on previous pregnancy experiences/symptoms but there's just no telling. With baby #3, it was pretty obvious to me that Cami was a girl... this baby seems much less obvious... it could to either way! When others have an opinion or feeling one way or another they almost always say they feel like it’s a girl!

Morning sickness: YES. Lots of nausea with this one! Probably one of the roughest early 1st trimesters I've had out of all 4, but I feel like I shouldn't complain because it really isn't THAT bad compared to how bad it could be. Luckily, I usually have only 3 weeks of feeling really crappy (weeks 6, 7 and 8). By the end of week 8 I'm typically already starting to feel much better, though still OH so tired. 

Exhaustion: SO. FREAKING. TIRED. You just always forget what that kind of exhaustion feels like. You're just SO wiped out. Words can't describe it. But it's a different KIND of tired. It's different than newborn/sleep deprivation tiredness... I think because you could literally sleep for 16 hours straight and wake up and still feel dead inside. Add in also caring for 3 other littles and that's a recipe for LOTS of naps and letting the kids play in their beds/rooms until late morning before getting them up for the day. Oops! 

Belly:  Lots of giant end-of-the-day food babies starting around week 7 or 8. (After a few babies you pretty much just start showing by week 4 anyway!) Baby belly definitely popping though between weeks 10-12.  

Planned: 110% (btw I don't really like using the word "planned" for this. Maybe "intentional" would be a better term here?) But yes, even before conception this was already our most planned for, talked about, prayed for and thought about baby. For a lot of different reasons. But we were absolutely wishing/praying/wanting this baby to come into existence at exactly the time when he/she did. With NFP/FAM we are always saying YES to God and His plan for our family, and we are grateful for His perfect timing. 

A little more background(/TMI) info on “planning” for this baby: We've been talking about this baby for a while now. We knew what our desires were/are for our family, and we prayed that those might align with God's. For over a year now, I kind of had 2 different "timelines" if you will as to what I felt would work best for me, my health and for our family to add another member. Once we knew what felt right, I decided to plan a fun getaway for us (sans kids)! Looking ahead on the calendar, I figured out when I would be ovulating during the month of April (the earliest I would want to get pregnant = January baby and [unless something goes awry] no December baby. Sorry Christmas b-day people!) and booked us a babymaking trip! I really went into it knowing our intentions but also recognizing that if we were to NOT get pregnant at that time I would be at peace with it. I know that it's not about OUR timing but God's timing, and if this was not His desire for us to conceive then we wouldn't. And we could continue to "try" if we wanted to. Or not. So although this is what we wanted, I wasn't trying to hold on to this idea as an end-all-be-all decision/timeline because I know it's not really up to me (as much as we like to think it is most of the time).

How did we find out/pregnancy test details: We had only been back from New York for a few days when I decided to start testing. This time around I did a lot of research on pregnancy test sensitivity - meaning which pregnancy tests truly pick up the lowest amount of HCG. (If you're curious, First Response Early Result Tests REALLY DO tell you first! First Response will pick up HCG at as little as 6mIU/mL, whereas most other brands won't pick up HCG until it reaches at LEAST 20mIu, or more.) ANYWAY. That being said I started testing with First Response the earliest I thought implantation was possible. On Monday, May 6 at 3w1d, (9dpo and 6 days before missed period) I got that first VERY faint positive! I was absolutely blown away at how early we found out. I share these specifics because: a) it took me 4 pregnancies to figure this out - knowledge is power people - and b) I honestly feel that I would have known about our other babies much sooner had I actually been using First Response and not those darn cheapies. (Don't get me wrong I love keeping the cheapies on hand for "emergencies" BUT they just can't tell you much if it's before your missed period. I've never been someone to suspect a pregnancy and then wait to test until AFTER my missed period. Cheapies are great if you're already late, when hcg levels have already had a chance double a few times, in my personal opinion.) Not that WHEN you find out changes anything at all, but if you're like me and you prefer to know at the soonest moment possible maybe you found this information helpful :).

1st pos. test with a very faint line! Hard to see in a photo! (9dpo)

The next day. Feeling more real! (10dpo!)

Why did we decide share the news when we did: We shared our news "publicly" at 7 weeks. Ever since my first pregnancy, I have felt very convicted to share our pregnancy news as soon as possible. When I was pregnant with Heidi, I can remember thinking to myself: "I'm doing this thing that everyone is telling me I'm supposed to do (by waiting to share) but why?" I do not feel like I'm protecting myself by keeping my babies a secret until a certain magical time. It is a personal decision for everyone, but I would be hurting myself and making things much much harder on our family should a miscarriage or other health issue occur. Every woman and every family is different, so the decision truly is different for everyone, but I feel very strongly about not keeping our pregnancies a secret until X number of weeks. And if you've been around here for a while you know I don't make decisions based on fear or the "what ifs" if something were to go wrong. I also am not naieve to think that something could go wrong at any point. Because in our family we place such a high value on the support we receive from our community, we will always share the news of pregnancy with those who we are closest with right away, and publicly within that first month or two. Regardless of whether it's a healthy pregnancy or if a miscarriage happens a life is a life and one that deserves love, joy and celebrating. One way or another. 

How far apart will Cami and baby #4 be: 2yrs 4 months (somehow the largest gap we've had between kids so far - insert smiling sweating emoji!)

We are SO excited to welcome this fourth addition to our family. Pregnancy is totally my jam and bringing babies into the world is something that I truly love to do. I am so excited and SO grateful that God is allowing me to experience it all again. We look forward to sharing our journey with you for a FOURTH time!

Baby #3 On The Way!

Well, here we go again!! We're pregnant with Baby #3 and are SO excited to become a family of FIVE! Keep reading to get all the deets!

(*Note: This post was written the day we officially announced our pregnancy on social media when I was 7 weeks pregnant, February 17, 2017.)

Due Date: October 1, 2017

How many weeks along am I now: 7 weeks (aka almost 2 months, aka 1st trimester)

How big is Baby Kresta: A playing die or tiny raspberry!

Boy or Girl: Already pretty convinced it's a girl... but it's of course a 50/50 shot regardless so we'll see!

Morning sickness: None! (Yet...?)

Exhaustion: Hmmm yes definitely SOO tired. So tired that we've been going to bed earlier than ever and I stopped caring about getting stuff done after the kids go to bed haha. That will eventually have to change however as the house is a mess and nothing ever gets done. I also can't bring myself to do anything during nap time except for nap! (Not that that wasn't already an issue buuut... at this point there's no question that napping will always win!)

Belly:  Nothin! Just some exaggerated food babies/bloating in the evenings after eating dinner usually. 

Planned: Let's be honest here. No. Haha. Not at all when we expected for our third baby to come into existence! However, as I have said before, by practicing Natural Family Planning/Fertility Awareness Method (NFP/FAM), we are always saying YES to God and His plan for our family. But in case you're even more curious about the TMI details here ya go (and if not skip on down past this next section):

How did we find out: Warning: TMI ahead. Back at the beginning of January, we had what I'm calling a...*ahem*..."miscommunication" if you will. With NFP/FAM I am always super aware of where I am in my cycle, when I'm ovulating, about to ovulate, etc. etc. So, as soon as this "miscommunication" took place, I instantly knew that pregnancy was a very real possibility (I was due to ovulate any day at that point). And I kind of freaked out juuuuust a little bit. (There were several reasons why I knew *thought* this wasn't a good time for us to get pregnant, one of which being that Ryan's sister is getting married in October and I knew a January pregnancy would potentially be a major interference with our attendance to that. Plus, even though I LOVE being pregnant, giving birth and bringing babies into this world, I did truly want a liiiiiittle bit more of a body break between kids this time around. Like, maybe at least another full year. I mean, we have a 9 month old for crying out loud! So, this is why I was freaking out about the potential of another pregnancy.) But this really was just a GIANT miscommunication!

Well, several days passed and I ended up not ovulating until 3 days after that. At that point, I honestly thought we PROBABLY missed the window for fertilization, but knew that there was still a teeny tiny chance (HAH). (I was also still breastfeeding, although by this point I knew that wasn't any sort of preventative. However I wondered if those hormones would still do enough to slow things down or maybe prevent implantation? Who knows - although not something that I bank on once my babies start sleeping through the night and my cycle returns.) 

I even sent Ryan this picture of my ovulation monitor on the day I ovulated (3 days after
our "miscommunication") and said something to the effect of "Looks like we
 might have dodged the bullet!" MIGHT have. Maybe...At this point, I was thinking there 
was maybe still like a...25% chance that I would get pregnant, but definitely 
wasn't thinking it would end up happening. 

ANYWAY, I did some math and started testing the earliest I thought it would be MAYBE be possible to get a positive test. I took 3 tests over the course of that week all of which were negative. I REALLY assumed that I wasn't pregnant by then, but honestly the more negatives I saw, the more sad that I realized I was getting when those negative tests were staring me in the face. I really didn't think that I was ready to have another baby so soon, so I was a little surprised at my growing disappointment. I really wasn't feeling "waves of relief" with each negative or anything even though I was still feeling pretty stressed about the situation. After the 3 negatives, I waited a few days and debated on whether I should take another one or not. I remember waking up on that Monday morning, sitting up in bed with my feet hanging off the edge and thinking "Okay, I think this is the last day that I could possibly get a positive before completely missing my period, but I really really don't want to take another one since I already know it's going to be negative." But something still told me to take one more. Just one more. (And looking back, I actually believe that I felt implantation happen the evening before. I should have known!) Also, I am not someone who can wait weeks and weeks to know if I'm pregnant, or just see if I miss my period and wonder if I'm just late or actually pregnant... I have to know the earliest minute possible. So, I wasn't about to throw caution to the wind and move on with my life without knowing FOR. SURE. So I took one last test, set it on the ground and looked down a few seconds later. 

Side note: Usually, when I'm examining negative pregnancy tests (which is apparently a lot), my eyes will try to "guess" where the line might be, or even see if one can be fabricated. But when that faint faint positive shows up, I almost always second guess it. I think "okay, I think I'm making up where the line is SUPPOSED to be... but it's not actually there, right?" This literally happens to me every time.) 

That morning, when I picked up the pregnancy test and took a closer look and realized I wasn't making up that little line's existence. I just sat there on the toilet and cried my eyes out. Not because I was sad, or scared or unhappy, but because I was SO overjoyed to see that positive, to know that there was another tiny life growing inside of me and also because I was surprised and relieved that I wasn't feeling any of those negative feelings I thought I might feel should a pregnancy occur. I could hardly believe it. It was a gorgeous day outside, so of course I loaded up my first two babies into the stroller and immediately went on my run for the day. I took as many pictures as I could because I always love looking back on those special days and remembering all of those incredible emotions. I took Heidi and Wells to our bi-monthly church playgroup where I of course told all of my mom friends, but I hadn't even told Ryan yet haha! I wanted to wait and tell him in person, so I told him as soon as he got home from work later that day. 

Why did we decide share the news now: Ever since my first pregnancy, I have felt very convicted to share our pregnancy news as soon as possible. When I was pregnant with Heidi, I can remember thinking to myself: "I'm doing this thing that everyone is telling me I'm supposed to do (by waiting to share) but why?" I do not feel like I'm protecting myself by keeping my babies a secret until a certain magical time. It is a personal decision for everyone, but I would be hurting myself and making things much much harder on our family should a miscarriage or other health issue occur. Every woman and every family is different, so the decision truly is different for everyone, but I feel very strongly about not keeping our pregnancies a secret until X number of weeks. We will always share the news of pregnancy within that first month or two, because regardless of whether it's a healthy pregnancy or if a miscarriage happens a life is a life and one that deserves love, joy and celebrating. One way or another. 

How far apart will Wells and baby #3 be: 18 months (yikes!)

The first positive test - 4 weeks and 1 day pregnant.

Took another test 10 days later just to be sure - definitely MORE positive!

This was how I told Ryan I was pregnant! I had really been pressing hard for us to go back to Hawaii for our 5 year anniversary this October. While he was at work, I made this card and stuffed it in an envelope that we had received in the mail from someone else. (Of course, I made sure to tear the envelope just right so it cut off the return address, so he wouldn't know who it was from, but still not be totally suspicious until opening the card..) When he walked in the door, I was laying on the couch and both kids were still napping. I casually picked it up off the coffee table and said "Oh, hey this came in the mail today." Hehe. Loved being able to catch him (at least a little bit) off guard this time around!! See you in 2018 Hawaii!!! We're comin for ya! (Currently booking babysitters for October 2018... ;).)

We are SO excited to welcome this third addition to our family. Pregnancy is totally my jam and bringing babies into the world is something that I truly love to do. I am so excited and SO grateful that God is allowing me to experience it all again. We look forward to sharing our journey with you for a THIRD time!

Week 40

Major events: Having a baby!!

Size of baby: 8 lbs. 6 oz.

We are so excited to finally meet our baby boy and everyone has been adjusting wonderfully to our new lives as a family of 4!

Week 39 Anxiety

This week has probably one of THE hardest weeks I have had while pregnant. 

As stressed out as I was scrambling to get so many things done, I was actually looking forward to getting to the point where everything was checked off and I could just relax and focus on this new baby and his arrival. BUT...I also know that I am terrible at "not doing anything"...I don't really function well when I don't have a list of 58437291 things I am trying to accomplish. I know this. I know that the "waiting" part of pregnancy is super difficult for 99.9% of all pregnant women. However, I love being pregnant and am in no rush for it to end, so I thought this part would be easy (or at least, easier than it has actually been). There have been a lot of reasons why things have gotten so difficult though. 

I think it all started with my weekly dr. appt. (the day before week 39 began). I just got this weird vibe from my doctor... which I am SURE was completely and 100% fabricated in my mind... but still... I feel this weird pressure to get this baby out before he decides to come. My doctor didn't even mention the word "induction" nor did she even really hint at that being a possibility at this point... but I just got a weird feeling about it... (I should also note that everything at this point still looks to be right on track and both mom and baby are healthy!)

An induction is just not something that I want for my body or my babies (unless there is a true medical reason for that to occur.) Ryan has several co-workers who are due (or whose wives are due) right around the same time as me. So each day (feels like every day) that he comes home and tells me about yet another one who has scheduled an induction "just because" makes me feel strangely pressured. (At this point, pretty much every one of those people already has an induction scheduled... some for before their actual due date! As suggested by their doctor! It blows my mind that doctors are not only okay with this but actually encouraging women to schedule inductions when they are not necessary AND because it fits their personal vacation schedules. Sometimes I just don't understand modern medicine...)

What's wrong with letting a woman's body do what it is designed to do? Why is that last week (or even extra week??) less valuable than any other week of pregnancy? I DO realize that there are some situations where it is actually very important to get baby out as soon as possible - and those situations are life saving! But I am just feeling so much pressure from... society? our culture? I'm not even sure from where... that this baby needs to be coaxed out of there (or even forced) if he takes "too long". Statistically, risks increase after a certain point, yes. But I don't want to base my decision off of statistics. I want to base if off of MY body. If my blood pressure is good, my fluid levels are good, my urine tests are good... if everything looks good and baby is healthy then I want him to stay in there as long as he needs. A few extra days of fat-layering or lung development or... whatever it may be... he's staying in there for a reason right?? I have been fearful that I am headed down a path where I will be forced into something "just because". (An emergency type situation or if there was an actual "issue" would be a completely different scenario. I would never make an unsafe decision just for the sake of sticking to my plan of a natural birth.) I have been allowing fear to take over and can't quite figure out how to push it out.

Please don't take this as me saying ALL inductions are bad. I know they are not. But for me personally - that is the last thing I want - unless it HAS to happen. I believe God and baby should be in control of that for me. I also strive to have natural births - something pitocin does not allow to happen easily. From what I have heard, induced labors affect the body so intensely that pain medication is almost inevitable. So for someone who wants ALL things to happen naturally.... pitocin doesn't sound like that beginning of that path that ends in a natural, drug-free delivery. (A lot of motivation for induction is estimated size of baby - but if my mom can deliver a 10+ lb. baby naturally then so can I! A weight guess is not enough by itself to convince me to induce - because I know that's probably what you were thinking ;)!)

So this pressure I'm feeling... it's been affecting me in every way. My insides feel like an old rubber band that's being stretched and relaxed, stretched and relaxed...about to snap in half and fling across the room.  I feel SO torn - because I want HIM to choose when he comes... but I'm worried that I won't be able to handle the stress and pressure that would come with it IF my due date comes and goes. Not because I would be stressed about baby or his health - but because I would be stressed about dealing with all of the external pressure to "get him out of there". I LOVE being pregnant and if he doesn't want to come until 10 days past my due date then so be it. I trust God to take control of that situation. But now I feel like I shouldn't be wishing baby to take his time so that I won't have to deal with having a "late" baby (a term I don't really even agree with using...) I think that because I am SO fearful of being forced into an unnecessary induction I have really gotten into my own head about it. Why should I even be afraid of that when my due date is still a week away? or 5 days away? or 2 days away? Why are people even asking me about an induction when my due date has not even come and gone yet?? Isn't a due date just an estimation anyway?

The other thing that makes all of this SO hard for me... I got lucky with Heidi. I never really had to play the "waiting game" when I was pregnant with her. That being my first pregnancy... I NEVER expected her to be early. I just assumed I would at LEAST make it to my due date - if not way past that. So this time... this waiting game has really got me inside my own head. If I HAD made it to (or past) my due date with Heidi, I would assume this time around that I would have roughly that same amount of time - or maybe just a few days sooner. But since she was 3 days early... will he be 3 days early? Will he be earlier than that? What if it's tomorrow? What if it's 2 weeks from tomorrow? How common is it for your second to be late if your first was early? What are the chances of that? 

I am so incredibly stressed. My hormones are going INSANE and I am constantly up and down... so irritated, angry... I have been struggling HARDCORE so far this week to choose peace, faith and trust over stress and anxiety. I know getting out of the house and keeping my mind off of things helps... but I am also sooo tired at this point that all I really have the energy for is laying on the couch. Again - just another thing I feel so torn about! Resting/relaxing/driving myself insane vs. putting forth effort/going somewhere/doing something/getting my mind off of "things".... ARGH!! But what I have learned is that I am much more "stable" when I am out of the house and around people. That being said... I suffer dearly when a forego a nap. Naptime is still pretty crucial. 

I never expected this "waiting" part to be so hard - and I know it's only hard because I am making it hard on myself. It is so hard and can feel so lonely - like I'm the only one in the world who feels this way.

Week 36, 37, 38 and 39

Week 36

Major events: Friday night wedding in Austin! Last run until after baby...

Size of baby: Head of romaine lettuce

Sleep: Fine,but starting to wake up to pee much more now due to MAJOR pressure...

Cravings: None

Aversions: None

Movement: Yes! So strong and painful! (Especially when he stretches me SO far sideways!)

Belly button in or out? In

Weight gain: 30 lbs.

Missing: Champagne??

Best part of this week: Getting to spend so much time with Ryan. 

Hardest part of this week: Just dealing with stress and crazy emotions. 

Looking forward to: Being done with all of the meal prep/cooking/baking and being able to focus on baby!

Emotions: Starting to feel SUPER stressed out that nothing is ready and with my hormones ramping up BIG time this week I am a wreck. I usually start the day off feeling pretty good (emotionally and physically) but by the time evening rolls around and I start getting tired and uncomfortable... that's when I start to REALLY freak out. Lots of tears have been shed over how much left there still is to do and how there just isn't enough time to do it in. I feel like a time bomb... guaranteed every night no matter what is going on, usually by 9:30 or 10 a major meltdown is occurring. 

Signs of labor: Lightening (aka baby "dropping") and feeling the need to pee every second! Lots of Braxton Hicks! Although Braxton Hicks contractions feel completely different to me than labor contractions they are still annoying as heck! 

WOWZERS SOO much has changed this week!! Week 36 started off as a normal week, but I could tell that on day 5 of this week my body started to making some BIG changes. Baby definitely dropped, which caused me to feel an enormous amount of pressure in my pelvis/bladder area. I started to feel the urge to pee ALL the time (even if nothing much comes out) and can even feel when his head rams up and down on my bladder. (On the bright side I can breathe a little bit better now and my chest cavity feels less crammed!) Heartburn has been horrible the last few days of this "week" and it pretty much makes me feel like crap all the way around.

Major events: Met with our doula for the last time! Baked a zillion breakfast items

Size of baby: Swiss chard

Sleep: Not great... just waking up multiple times every night to pee. 

Aversions: None

Movement: Things got NUTS this week yall... during my first pregnancy, Heidi was very active and there were lots of kicks and strong movements, etc. but this baby... my GOODNESS it is absolutely freaky. 

Belly button in or out? In

Weight gain: 30 lbs.

Missing: Nothing!

Best part of this week: Buying all (most) of the remaining items we need for baby, washing his clothes and starting to feel a little bit prepared for his arrival and seeing my grandma for her birthday

Hardest part of this week: Day 1 of this week I suddenly started feeling very uncomfortable. I was very crampy all day and just felt yucky. This caused us to freak out a little bit (thinking there was a chance he could come any day!) and made me stress out a LOT about not even having our bags packed. I think this day was enough to convince me to kick it into high gear... so we packed our bags and got a few more things ready. The hardest part is just not feeling ready yet...obviously he is not here yet (as of week 37 day 7) though so we're still chipping away at our to do lists. 

Looking forward to: Getting excited to meet my little buddy!

Emotions: HUGE relief finishing all of the cooking/baking, but pretty stressed after a rough day 1 of this week

Signs of labor: Crampy with lots of tightening (mostly on day 1 of this week); as of the last day of my 37th week I am officially 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced!! (Which is just NUTS to think about because with my first pregnancy after laboring at home for 8 hours I was only 2cm. I'm already farther along than I was when I walked into the hospital to deliver Heidi!) 

Week 38

Major events: Ran a 5K (what?? I had signed up for a 10K but by the time the race rolled around I decided it was just best to walk the 5K. The plan was to just jog a bit at the start and then walk the rest but I felt good enough to run it - slowly!!) 

Size of baby: Leek

Sleep: Sleep got real bad this week. The pubic pressure (and bladder pressure) makes sleeping very difficult and quite uncomfortable.

Cravings: None

Aversions: None

Movement: Yes, he is still kicking the crap out of me, but I will say that movement seems to have decreased a bit – I assume due to the fact that he has much less room in there are this point

Belly button in or out? In...ish...

Weight gain: 33 lbs.

Missing: Bending, putting pants on, etc… Every Time something slips out of my hands or starts to topple over I think to myself "Please don't fall on the floor! Please don't fall on the floor!"

Best part of this week: Going on my REAL last run (promise this time that's for real), having a fabulous day with my girl and finally reaching the week 39 point – which means we are finally at the “relax and wait” point and no longer scrambling to get a zillion things done!

Hardest part of this week: Feeling really stressed after my dr. appt...(see my next post about Week 39 Anxiety!)

Looking forward to: Having (almost) nothing to do but just sit and wait :)

Emotions: Still not feeling quite ready for this pregnancy to end, even though I am getting more and more excited to meet him and hold him! I have just been trying to enjoy each and every moment I have with my baby inside of me, but I am now feeling SO much stress after my dr. appt...

Signs of Labor: 3-4cm dilated!

Major events: Easter Sunday

Size of baby: Personal sized watermelon

Sleep: Ooooh fine. Waking up frequently just to pee but really not in any pain or anything...

Cravings: None

Aversions: None

Movement: Yes - I am SOO going to miss feeling him roll around inside of me. This pregnancy went by SO fast it's hard to think about not being pregnant anymore!

Belly button in or out? In but very flat and strange looking... it looks as though it WANTS to pop out but can't 

Weight gain: 33 lbs.

Missing: Not feeling like I have to pee every second of every day

Best part of this week: Feeling SO relieved after my dr. appt at 39 weeks 7 days. (Everything looks good and my doctor was super laid back and supportive about continuing to give baby time in there and allowing things to happen on their own. We still have plenty of time before we even start to talk about induction yay! I am feeling great and WAY less stressed.) I feel so much more "ready" now that I did even just a few days ago.

Hardest part of this week: Being so stressed!

Looking forward to: His arrival any day now...!!

Emotions: Soooo stressed this whole week (see my next post: Week 39 anxiety) 

Signs of Labor: At my appointment (39w7d) my doctor performed a "membrane sweep", which essentially is when the doctor uses his/her fingers to separate the amniotic sac from the cervix (see here or just Google "membrane strip" or "membrane sweep"). Previously, I haven't been quite sure how I felt about this being performed, but since she was already checking my dilation when she asked I thought "might as well"! (It was not painful or uncomfortable and honestly I didn't feel a thing. I am grateful that she still asked for my permission though. I have heard of doctors just doing it without asking which would make me very uncomfortable.) The reason this is done is to encourage labor to begin - it triggers the release of the hormone prostaglandin (also found in semen in case anyone was wondering - a reason why they say sex can potentially help labor begin! Prostaglandin softens the cervix.) 

Wells, we have officially made it to your due date!! I'm finally back in a place where I can just relax and wait for you to decide when you want to come. Can't wait to meet you baby boy!

Weeks 33, 34 and 35

Week 33

Major events: Ultrasound; follow up doctor appt; Ryan out of town most of the week 

Size of baby: Pineapple

Sleep: No complaints

Cravings: None

Aversions: None

Movement: Yep! (See below for more on movement during this pregnancy.) This guy usually goes the most crazy in the evenings! I have also reached "watermelon-thumping" stage... my belly is so hard and there are spots that sound insanely hollow! It sounds like when you thump on a watermelon or cantaloupe (often, when I'm in the shower I think "what's that noise??" Then I realize it's just the water hitting my belly haha! One day, I noticed that for the FIRST time EVER this whole pregnancy, his feet were on my left side. I really didn't like it only because it was NOT what I was used to! (Also, weird that he still has room to roll from side to side?? I do think that he is head down at this point, so I guess he is just swinging his feet from side to side!) He really only spent a few hours like this before switching back to his usual position.

Belly button in or out? In

Weight gain: 25 lbs.

Missing: Bending. With Ryan being gone most evenings this week, all of Heidi's baths have been in a bucket on the bathroom floor because I can't bend over into the tub. This week has been tough on my body... either that or my body has been tough on the week!

Best part of this week: Got the nursery painted!! (Hey, it's a start at least!) and getting all of my "restrictions" lifted by my doctor as everything seems to be going the way it's supposed to. 

Hardest part of this week: This belly gets so painful in the evenings. I don't recall the "pain" so much with my first pregnancy, but this time by the end of the day my stomach (think upper abs) HURT, especially if I haven't had any time to sit/lay down during the day. (It just feels as if gravity is YANKING my belly down!) My abs are painful to the touch and I am not able to get any relief from this pain unless I am lying down/reclining. It's tough! I am assuming that my abs are just separating more this time around than the first. Also, being alone/not having Ryan here to help has been very hard. He has been super stressed with work lately and I am stressed trying to get the house cleaned and ready for the shower at our house this weekend (!!!!) by myself. My worst moment was when I realized the vacuum that we thought was fixed broke again which resulted in me as a crumpled, sweaty, crying mess on the floor and Ryan receiving some pretty explicit text messages ;). Sorry babe!

Looking forward to: Baby shower this weekend - getting to see my mom, sister and so many friends!

Emotions: Very up and down... been feeling down a lot more but I think that's just because both Ryan and I have been stressed and I have felt very separated/alone... especially with him being gone. 

Signs of labor: Possible Braxton Hicks contractions every now and then

At my ultrasound/dr. appt., we were able to confirm that baby is head down (woo woo!). The ultrasound was insanely boring, as he is really too big to see much on the screen at one time. Also, this whole pregnancy I have assumed that the chances of him coming early are good as Heidi came 3 days before her due date, but I wasn't sure if that really had any bearing on this pregancy or not. I was able to ask my doctor about this, and she did confirm that my chances of him coming early are pretty high, although obviously not a guarantee! Aaaaaa!

Week 34

Major events: Baby shower (or "sprinkle" if you will!) 

Size of baby: Cantaloupe

Sleep: Fine fine

Cravings: None

Aversions: None

Movement: Tons of movement... legs/feet flipped sides again but it seems this was only temporary. I also had one scary morning where I hadn't felt movement between about 4:30 a.m. (got up to pee) and almost 9:00 a.m. I am not someone who keeps track of kicks or records how much it happens per hour or whatever (I think that's just a good way to really stress yourself out!) but I was aware that 4+ hours is a very long time to go without feeling movement, even in the morning. I started getting a little worried but by the time I had dropped Heidi off at MDO and had time to actually think about it he woke up and started rolling around again. 

Belly button in or out? In

Weight gain: 25 lbs.

Missing: Hmmmm nothing!

Best part of this week: The shower was the highlight of my week! Also, spending some time with my mom and sister and SO many good friends at the shower! 

Hardest part of this week: I have been feeling really lonely and very stressed...and not getting to spend time with my husband has made this week a thousand times harder. Things finally started looking up about halfway through this "week" just in time for the shower thank goodness! (My "weeks" are Wednesday - Tuesday btw!)

Looking forward to: NYC next weekend!! Eeee!!

Emotions: Struggling with "down" feelings this week BIG time, but once the shower was here I was feeling much much better (Ryan and I also finally had a big talk which needed to happen and this really helped me to feel so much more myself again.) Sooo basically I am consistently inconsistent emotionally! Expecting it to be this way for a while...(esp. knowing that post-partum is a crazy time hormonally as well!)

Signs of labor: None

Week 35

Major events: Took myself on my own little babymoon to visit my college roommate in NYC!

Size of baby: Honeydew melon

Sleep: Still somewhat decent surprisingly... I think the main issue here is just going to bed at a reasonable time - something that I am super bad at! I have always been a night owl and am the most productive at nighttime, so it's hard to get in bed early. I feel like by this point in my pregnancy with Heidi, I was getting up 2-3 times at LEAST per night, whereas this time around it's more like 1-2 times (and if I go to bed late enough then I can make it all the way through until morning haha). 

Cravings: Yogurt/granola/fruit parfaits - I saw a lady carrying one around in the airport and I just couldn't get it out of my head!!

Aversions: None

Movement: Tons of movement always. His kicks hurt me a lot and it seems like he's trying to bust out of my right side!

Belly button in or out? In

Weight gain: 30 lbs.

Missing: Clothes that fit

Best part of this week: Hangin with my soulmate in NYC duhhh! SO nice to just get away and forget about all of the things that are currently causing me to be stressed and anxious.

Hardest part of this week: This week I had 2 pretty rough days (and they were back to back which makes it worse). Rough in a physical and hormonal way. Exhaustion has definitely set in and my body just felt so... uncooperative? I outgrew my maternity clothes several weeks ago and I started to let that frustrate me. I dreaded each time I had to bend over to pick something up and each time I had to go up the stairs. My belly hurt and was so uncomfortable and squished and full. The pressure on my bladder/front lower abdomen was so unbearable it made falling asleep difficult these last few nights. I also felt a ton of pressure upwards into my rib cage, and (those 2 days specifically) breathing felt impossible. I was always short of breath, winded and just struggling to get enough in to fill my lungs. Also, having a hard time emotionally (see below) and suddenly feeling SUPER stressed about how little time we have left. (If he's early - that means that this time 4 weeks from now we could be at home with a newborn. YIKES!!)

Looking forward to: Hopefully checking some things off of our "To Do" list!

Emotions: All OVER the place (this is an extreme understatement). You name it - I've felt it. I am also having a SUPER hard time coming to terms with the fact that this pregnancy is almost over. I'm ready to meet my baby... but I'm not ready to not be pregnant. I'm not ready to part with this belly. The house is not ready. His room is not ready. I just feel like nothing is ready!! (I do realize that IF he were to come tomorrow everything would be fine and we would survive. He probably won't even use his room at all for several weeks/months, but it DOES make me sad not having it prepared for his arrival.) I have been anxious, stressed, angry, depressed, excited, happy, sad, mad, disappointed, joyful... just to name a few. I can FEEL the hormones surging through my body and at times it feels like more than I can handle.

Signs of labor: None other than (maybe) some braxton hicks contraction here and there... 

Some more notes on feeling movement throughout this pregnancy...

Feeling this baby move inside of me has been different this second time around. With your first pregnancy, each roll, kick, hiccup and movement is something to announce. To your spouse, friends, family... Call them in from the other room to come experience. But going through his experience for the second time, it's different. Not that those incredible moments are any less important or exciting (not in the least!) but the second time, it's just... different. Less public, maybe. 

Throughout everything that I do the entire day, I am almost always feeling another life moving and shifting inside of me simultaneously. Whether I'm laying in bed, standing in line at the grocery store, washing the dishes, having a conversation with family or friends...but this time...it's more like a little secret that's just between me and my son. His movements are much more often something that only he, God and I are aware of in that moment. And no one else in this whole world. I do LOVE to share his movements and kicks with others but I also love those times where it's just he and I. I love bonding with him in this way.

And here are just few more pictures from these past 3 weeks...!

This is a MATERNITY shirt people. I thought I had reached this point waaay later with my last pregnancy (as in the last few weeks of pregnancy)... but I'm only 8 months pregnant (in this picture)!! Ugh! Frustrating that they don't make maternity shirts longer... what the heck!?

Seriously?? Sometimes I just leave the house like this anyway... because honestly how much am I REALLY supposed to care??? 

Baby shower!!

A HUGE thank you to these 2 ladies (and ALL of our friends and family) for making our double stroller dreams a reality!!

Baby Wells does NYC!!

35 weeks at 35,000 ft!! 

Week 32

Week 32

Major events: No major events this week - just trying to take it easy!

Size of baby: Jicama

Sleep: Still hanging in there... I had one night where I woke up several times because of hip pains, but luckily that was only one night. With my first pregnancy, I had SUCH a hard time getting comfortable and dealing with severe hip pains. I'm not sure if it was because I had gained significantly more weight than I have so far this time, or if it was just my body reacting/adjusting differently. Either way - I'm glad that sleep is still fairly easy to come by this time! 

Cravings: None

Aversions: None

Movement: Oh yes!! It is so bizarre to actually be able to FEEL your uterus stretching... something that I don't recall feeling specifically with Heidi. Sometimes it is painful, and sometimes it just feels bizarre. 

Belly button in or out? In and super flat!

Weight gain: 23 lbs.

Missing: Nothing really...

Best part of this week: Feeling so much better! And getting to spend time with many mama friends this week

Hardest part of this week: 3 things really... 1. "Taking it easy" has been a little tough. The whole "no running, no sex, no cleaning the whole house" stuff has not been super fun, and of course my mind goes to extreme places like "what if my doctor keeps me on these restrictions for the next 7 weeks!? I'm going to go insane!!" Hopefully, this does not end up being the case. 2. I really overdid it one day this week. The thing is - I didn't really DO that much... but for my body (typically), by the 8th/9th month of pregnancy for me that is when "overdoing it" just means not sitting/laying down enough! Ryan was going to be gone ALL day the following day (4am - midnight), so the day before I wanted to get some stuff out of the way so that while he was gone I wouldn't have too much on my plate. I went to our playgroup with Heidi in the morning, then we powered through our grocery store trip (we already got there pretty late and then Heidi needed to go potty. At this point, it is fairly painful for me to sit somewhat contorted in the backseat, while trying to maneuver her in and out of her carseat and on her potty, etc. Also, she pooped so that also added to some of the complication - sorry HEB but that wasn't a dog that pooped in the planter at the front of the parking lot!) The we finally got home, ate lunch and I put Heidi down for a nap. I unloaded all of the groceries out of the car and brought them inside. By the time I unloaded groceries, jacked around straightening things up, etc... it was time to get Heidi up. (I'm not even sure what I was DOING for those 2 hours but it went by fast and I wasn't sitting on the couch watching TV!) Once Heidi was awake, we played for a bit, Ryan got home and then I cooked dinner. (He DID offer to cook dinner but I still insisted that I do it.) By this point in the evening (pretty much every evening) I am already in quite a bit of pain, but tonight I could tell it was a little worse due to exhaustion... so when I went to salt my food and the lid fell off in my plate (followed by all of the contents of the sale grinder)... I tried really hard not to cry...but I lost it. I was so tired, and my belly hurt so bad and it just seemed like everything was awful. I really hadn't even gotten to sit down the whole day except for meals - which isn't really "relaxing". ANYWAY - all of that being said the next day, I dropped Heidi off at MDO and then went home, laid down on the couch and watched the Bachelor and HGTV the whole day. Even though I never fell asleep... it was amazing!! Also, knowing Ryan would not be home that evening I tried to enjoy "not doing anything" as much as I possibly could, which brings me to 3. It is so tough when Ryan is not home in the evenings to help out. (Single mamas I don't know how you do it. Yall are amazing.) Heidi's bath has to be in a bucket on the floor (which I don't think she hates ;)...) because I can't bend over the tub to bathe her. Then by the time she is in bed and I finish the dishes and clean up the house, etc... it's super late! It's so hard only having one set of hands to get everything done that needs to get done. Ryan has another trip coming up soon that will take him away for us for 3 evenings. I am a little bit nervous/anxious about this (especially because we have a lot going on that week as it is) and I know the evenings will be so tough on me physically. I'm trying very hard to prepare our schedule/meals/etc. so that it isn't too strenuous. 

Looking forward to: Doctor appointment coming up - along with our unexpected ultrasound! I'm excited to see our baby boy one last time before his arrival! And hopefully getting the nursery painted this weekend! Hopefully...

Emotions: It's been a pretty emotional week as it is and I do constantly struggle with feeling stressed and overwhelmed now that we are getting closer to his arrival. There's just so much to do! I usually feel very depressed in the evenings, when I am the most exhausted. Tiredness = depression and crying BIG time...not unlike any other normal human being, but pregnancy just magnifies this significantly. I am aware of when I feel this way and know that it's just because I need sleep and rest, so usually once I get some sleep I feel much better the next morning. 

Signs of labor: (I'm adding this category even though I feel like it's kind of dumb. Any "sign" of labor isn't really any sort of indicator as far as timeline goes... but nonetheless I still want to remember things leading UP TO actual labor. I personally don't believe there are any true signs of labor that will tell you WHEN you will go into labor - until you are actually IN labor.) That being said... I am still having a few braxton hicks contractions here and there, however now that I actually know what they feel like I am always over thinking and doubting whether or not they are actually occurring! (Is this one? Maybe. I think it is... Wait, maybe it isn't? Okay, yeah possibly.) But other than that baby is still showing all the right signs that he plans on staying in there for a good while longer!!

8 months!

When Daddy's out of town and Mommy is 8 month pregnant... bathtime happens in a bucket on the floor! 

Heidi likes to put her feet on the baby's feet...

I love this belly.