The First 6 Weeks

Couldn't get one without her crying and with baby #3
there's no "try it again later"so... crying picture it is!

So. We've survived the first 6 weeks (somehow). I don't really know why I feel like 6 weeks is some sort of significant number... or at least more significant than 5 weeks or 7 weeks. It just feels like it is. Maybe it's because that's usually when that postpartum checkup happens, when you're given the all clear by your Dr. to resume "normal" life and activities (hah). Anyway, I figured I would share what the first 6 weeks has looked like for us. Even though most of this post will just be random thoughts, I want to share while it's fresh. So that I can remember, but also because I (always) feel like openness and transparency is beneficial for everyone - on both sides of the screen.

Postpartum is a dangerous combination of hormone crashes/imbalances and sleep deprivation like you wouldn't know (unless you have had a new baby yourself). Nothing compares and it's super crazy. My postpartum experience with Heidi (my first) was extremely tough through the first few months, with Wells (my second) it was insanely dreamy and perfect and easy and I feel like this time around we're somewhere in the middle of the road. It's pretty roller coaster-y and we have a LOT of extreme ups and extreme downs throughout each day, but overall I feel like the hormones were under control after a few weeks. However, we are certainly in the thick of it now when it comes to the sleep deprivation. Weeks 6-8 are usually the toughest for me when it comes to that aspect, but I think the sleep deprivation psychosis set in a little earlier for me this time. Probably because with each kid you have less and less time to rest, care for yourself or even just think (and there's just so much noise)! By about week 2 or 3 I was already in the "okay I'm ready to die why is death taking so long" phase. (Which again is "normal" for me...) I have had a few days where getting out of bed has been almost impossible. The second my eyes open I feel the weight of the entire day - the thought of changing diapers, feeding everyone breakfast, managing toddlers, moving my body... it all feels too heavy. I'm too tired. Sleep deprivation is SUCH a crazy thing. It messes with you on so many levels - many of which you aren't even able to be aware of in your conscious mind. (Also, it's AMAZING what a night with 4 hours of sleep total as opposed to a night of 3 hours total can do for a person after 5 weeks of no sleep haha!) So here is a breakdown of what our first 6 weeks at home have looked like!

Week 1 (9/27 - 10/4)
The first week home I was crying about 80% of the time and felt pretty out of control hormonally. Each day brought a few more minutes of normalcy (or maybe even just a few seconds more) than the day before but most simple tasks (or just existing really) felt pretty overwhelming.

Week 2 (10/4 - 10/11)
Right after we hit the 1 week mark, I was definitely questioning whether I would ever live a normal life again (normal thoughts new mamas!) It was hard to feel remotely functional and I was also feeling pretty stressed and overwhelmed about going out of town that weekend (Ryan's sister was getting married in Galveston, about an hour and a half or so away and we were staying down there for the weekend.)

At 9 days postpartum, we loaded up all 3 kids and headed down to Galveston for Ryan's sister's wedding. We stayed in a big house with Ryan's family (which - sorry not sorry about the 9 day postpartum bloody pads and breast milk soaked nursing pads in the shared bathroom people!) and the weekend actually turned out to be much more manageable than I had expected. The biggest breakdown came when it was time for me to put on my bridesmaid dress - which due to the open back meant we were in a no bra situation. No bra + 9 day giant leaky boobs is a terrible combination. And it was pretty much impossible to get nursing pads in the dress in the correct position, so that was super stressful. I ended up just wearing a bra until the very last minute before the ceremony, and changed into a different (nursing-friendly, bra-friendly) outfit for the reception. It all worked out in the end and being at the reception, drinking a glass of wine and talking to lots of family friends all felt very normal. Getting out and being social and doing a normal thing felt SO good. So even though I wouldn't recommend PLANNING on being 1 of 3 bridesmaids in a wedding at 10 days postpartum, overall it was a good weekend (and super nice to have the extra help from family - THANK YOU to all who helped us!)

By the end of week 2 I still felt pretty mood swing-y but the hormones at least seemed to be a little bit more under control. Ryan was also still at home at that point, which obviously is the best BUT it did make it very difficult for me to picture doing it all by myself once he was back at work. I felt very overwhelmed and just like there was no way I was going to be able to do anything myself once he was back in the office. How do I even get the kids to preschool? How do I load/unload/walk in with all 3 kids AND their crap? How do I ever go anywhere ever?? (Wells is still a loose cannon when it comes to letting him walk in parking lots - there's no telling whether he will sprint into oncoming traffic or not.) I definitely felt like I was facing an impossible task. Something Ryan said to me (in a very gentle and loving way) that sometimes makes me feel a little better was "You are not the first lady to have 3 kids". Even though I wouldn't recommend running around saying that to every hormonal, emotional, postpartum crazed woman, it did help me to realize that yes, there are plenty of other women who have figured this out and I am not alone, nor the first person to do this.

Week 3 (10/11 - 10/18)
At Cami's 2 week check up (on a Wednesday), we found out that she has a heart murmur. We were told to see a pediatric cardiologist and that we needed to get in before the weekend. We were instructed to be in the med center that Friday at 6:45 a.m. for an ECHO and then had an appointment for an EKG and to meet with the doctor at 1:30 p.m. This was obviously very stressful and made for a very long and overwhelming day. I am SO grateful though that my mom offered to get us a hotel room downtown so that we could be close to the appointments (and also have somewhere to go crash between appointments since they were so spaced out). I'm not going to go into details, but we found out that Cami has two issues (an ASD as well as PVS) - one of which could potentially resolve itself the other probably won''t ever go away but shouldn't affect her lifestyle down the road. (We will know more for sure when we go back again at 6 months to recheck.) Anyway, this obviously was not an easy day and brought on a LOT of guilt, blame and "what-ifs" on my part. (Mom guilt doesn't make sense to ANYONE else but you when you're the mom. Everyone else will say "It's not your fault. It's not anything you did. These things just happen" etc. etc....but that still doesn't change the fact that as the mom you will still question whether it was something you did or didn't do that caused an issue in your baby. With Cami, for the first time ever during a pregnancy I took meds - at least 4 separate times. I'll always wonder... and I'll certainly never ever take meds again while pregnant unless it's a matter of life or death.)

When Cami was about 2.5 weeks old, Ryan went back to work. It's funny how, when you HAVE to do something you suddenly find the confidence and ability to do it and you know you can. I had felt soo much doubt and anxiety and sadness leading up to his return to work, but the Sunday night before it was going to happen I suddenly felt semi-capable and up for the challenge. We woke up that morning, had a "normal" morning at home where I fed the kids breakfast, then loaded everyone up (got the older kids snacks and water) and drove our butts to Starbucks! I got myself a mocha and we just drove around for a while - also something that we do frequently around here. A way to get out of the house, get some fresh air, see some things, but not really have to exert much energy and bonus - everyone is strapped in and contained! My kids have always liked being in the car - which I am grateful for - although I don't think I would really give them the choice since I need that time for me regularly so badly. I was feeling extra ambitious so I even took all 3 kids on a walk to the playground before lunch (it's a full mile round trip so I felt very accomplished)! The next day I even went to get a mani/pedi (with Cami)!! Taking your 2 week old to the nail salon isn't anything I would have ever DREAMED of doing with my first baby, and honestly not my second either. But people, by the third one you just do it and you don't even think twice about it!

Week 4 (10/18 - 10/25)
Week 4 seemed to be the least crazed. Hormones leveled off a bit, exhaustion levels were still crazy high but we were functioning. We did a lot of normal things this week - I took the kids to bible study, we went and had lunch with Ryan afterwards, the kids went to school... everything just seemed to gel. I wish more than anything that Ryan could be home with us all day every day, but having him back at work did help us to feel a little more "routine". I went maybe 2 days without crying (which I don't think I've done since... January?? Okay not really but almost!) Sometimes things just really click... and then they come crashing down again (see week 5 haha!)

Week 5 (10/25 - 11/1)
Week 5 kicked off with probably the hardest day (hormonally/exhaustion-wise) with this baby to date. By this point, she's a little more alert throughout the day but if she's awake she's typically either eating or crying. We had a really rough night of no sleeping and the second my eyes opened that morning I just felt like I was going to die (and wanted to honestly). It seems like she cries a lot, spits up a ton and doesn't seem all that content even when I'm holding her - to the point where I even start wondering if something is WRONG with her (or me??) In my delirium, I start questioning whether she's even my baby. Why isn't she comforted by me? Why am I not good enough for her? She won't stop crying and I can't continue like this and I don't want to do this any more ("this" = day to day life). Ryan ended up SOS calling my mom to come up and hang out with me during the day. It was definitely beneficial just to even have someone else in the house, so I didn't have to be in full on present mom mode and I could just kind of sit here and not have to do much (which honestly, some days I just have to do anyways because I'm not capable of much else). This was the first time I felt like I was having trouble bonding with my baby. I felt very separated from her, mostly because I felt like "she didn't care about me" - meaning I couldn't comfort her. I felt like this was someone else's baby. I can't figure out which position she likes, just holding her close doesn't make her stop freaking out...I started letting my mind even go as far as thinking "I didn't choose this. I didn't ask for this. I didn't and don't want this"... getting pregnant was not a conscious decision I had made or felt like I had control over necessarily and I once again started questioning God's timing for the 500,000th time in the last 10 months. (I don't usually feel this way but sometimes during the extreme low points these are the thoughts creep in...) The rest of the week seemed to mostly get better from there emotionally mostly, but I definitely was feeling very strongly that I am super over postpartum and so tired of feeling this way! I have also been struggling with my postpartum body - which I usually don't. But just the way this pregnancy and birth went my body is a reminder that I'm not pregnant anymore, those things are over AND also nothing fits me which is annoying and stressful and depressing and just adds to the emotional roller coaster. (But that's another post for another day.)

Week 6 (11/1 - 11/8)
Week 6 also started off with another hard day (what is it about Wednesdays??) although it wasn't quite as bad as it was the week before. I'm not sure how but somehow hubby convinced me to get out of bed and we made it to our weekly Bible study. After bible study, we even went and had lunch with him! The rest of the week had some "normal" and functional moments in between the chaos, but I feel like the normal is starting to balance out a bit with the tough times. As a mom, whether you have 1 or 10 there will always be moments in your day when you think you just can't do it, but the hope is that those moments pass quickly and don't come as often. So I think we're at least headed in the right direction with postpartum stuff generally.

Things kind of came crashing down at the end of this week though, however I feel like that was mostly due more to external events. My 6 week pp appointment was scheduled for the end of this week so in preparation we started to figure out what our "family planning" plan is moving forward. (I might get into this later but maybe not - either way I'm just feeling weird and uncomfortable with things right now while we figure it out.) I was really looking forward to my appointment and excited to get the all clear. That last appointment is always so bittersweet for me... in some ways I am so excited to close that chapter and start the next, but at the same time I usually feel pretty emotional as it just feels like the "end" of the pregnancy journey. Anyway, nothing super traumatic happened or anything, but I just left feeling very unimportant, uncared for and like I was just another number. (I will expand on this later for sure.) I have never felt so small. And that feeling sucks. Even though, I usually leave those appointments and cry just because of the finality of them, I have always left feeling so empowered and strong and this time was the complete opposite. I cried because I felt terrible, and so let down. I was deflated. Still figuring out what the next steps of processing this means for me...

Anyway, I feel like we're in a place right now where, it could be better could be worse, which I feel like is a pretty good place to be 6 weeks pp. (And honestly, even just feeling semi-optimistic and more "glass-half-full" is a good sign when it comes to postpartum - though I don't feel like that every moment of every day.) Even though we can't quite see the light at the end of the tunnel sleep-wise yet, hopefully (HOPEFULLY) that is just around the corner. (Typically for us that happens between 8-12 weeks-ish.) Once we start sleeping more/through the night things should get much more manageable. Having kids will always be a juggling act, at least we should feel more normal physiologically. Thanks for sticking with me!

Driving home from the hospital. Processing a lot and just feeling weepy and overwhelmed. 

After the wedding ceremony (and changing clothes)!

Family walks. 

First day with Ryan back at work. MADE IT!

Why a Summer Pregnancy (in Houston) Isn't All That Bad

This past pregnancy was my first time experiencing a summer pregnancy! Heidi was born in May and Wells was born in March, so having a September baby brought on some new experiences. I honestly always thought that having a summer pregnancy would be the worst thing in the world for me - especially in Houston. I am someone who is always always super hot and sweaty and it doesn't take much for me to turn into a hot sweaty mess. BUT I honestly didn't hate being pregnant during summer months to be the worst thing in the world! There are obviously a few annoying things about that but there were way more positives than I thought so I thought I would share in case anyone out there is panicking about being 9 months pregnant in the summer.

Let's talk about a few (obvious) cons first...


CONS
- Summer pregnancy made keeping up with running/working out very difficult for me. With previous pregnancies lasting mostly through winter months and ending during the spring, I was able to really keep up with running in the past - continuing up until about week 37/week 38. I ran until 38 weeks pregnant, and only stopped because physically it became too difficult (and I was ready to start focusing on the arrivals of my babies). I normally don't run much in the summer at all since it gets so hot here, so throwing pregnancy on top of that heat/humidity made it even more difficult to feel motivated. I also want to be safe too - getting overheated is not an option during pregnancy!

- ALCOHOL! I have never really missed alcohol THAT much during a pregnancy before, but this time it was tough! During winter months, I typically stick to red wine and during past pregnancies didn't really care too much about not drinking. But this time, with the hot weather... there were MANY times where all I wanted was a nice cold beer or a cool glass of white wine. Luckily hubby usually let me have a few sips of his beer to satisfy the craving.

- Alone time during summer months is hard to come by! During the school year, having those 1-2 days per week of "alone time" during MDO/preschool really helps keep a mama sane. Summer means 5 days a week all day of trying to balance being a mom and also attempting to get stuff (anything) done. So the lack of "me" time (or even just running an errand sans BOTH kids) rarely happened.

Okay, so those were pretty much the worst parts about being pregnant in the summer. See? Not so bad! Here are the pros!!


PROS
- Less clothing required! I am someone who likes showing of my belly and enjoys wearing tight fitting clothing any chance I get. Layering the bump is fun during winter months, but honestly it was super nice not struggling to pull on pants/leggings, boots, sweaters, etc. and I loved just getting to wear maternity shorts, t-shirts and flip flops every day. I felt very free not being weighed down by thick heavy layered clothing (not that we have to wear THAT intense of winter clothes here in Houston but still... SOME is still required at times!)

- I'm always hot anyway - Summer months for me are spent being a hot sweaty wreck and hating life - and that's just how I feel after walking from inside a store to the car! I'm always so so hot and sweaty so why not just throw an extra 40+lbs and giant belly in there with it?? I didn't notice that I was any hotter (or more ornery) than any other summer of 95 degrees with 1,000% humidity.

- Temp right after baby is born - It has been SO nice having cooler weather right after Cami was born! I'm used to having a baby and then having MAYBE a few more weeks of good tolerable weather before it gets unbearable. This time, Cami was born and shortly after the weather got so nice. It's been SO good mentally for me. Not only am I in a better mood in general bc I'm not dripping with sweat 24/7, but it's also been so nice during this time of transition to be able to take my time with things. It would be SO insanely hard even just trying to learn how to load/unload 3 kids when it's so hot and I feel rushed and uncomfortable. It has truly been such a blessing during this time of "learning" and figuring out how to load/unload three kids has been so pleasant! The cooler weather also makes it easy to get out of the house, go on walks or just let the kids play in the backyard. I always say, summer in Houston must be like winter in Michigan! We are almost trapped indoors and really start to go stir-crazy! Having outside adventures as an option to take the big kids out is a gamechanger.

- School year - As I said above, it can be tough to fill the days during the summer - when it's 5 days a week all day every day. This go round, I am so grateful to have those 2 days a week alone with Cami while the big kids are at MDO/preschool - and we have an entire school year ahead of us to look forward to this! I think it would have been really tough (for me) if baby #3 had come at the end of a school year or beginning of the summer when the routine feels so off and there's no break days for mama.

Summer = bikini weather! June 19 - 25 weeks pregnant.

 June 10th - 23 weeks pregnant. More days filled with minimal clothing - score!!

Honestly, you get to a point in pregnancy where you don't really even
want clothing touching your belly anyway ;). July 28th - 30 weeks pregnant.

Hot July run - 30.6 weeks!

My last (insaaaanely hot) run with baby girl. Ran 5 miles of a 10K - walked the last
mile. No shame. 33 weeks pregnant. Braxton hicks the whole time.

First breath of fresh air in Houston - September 11th at 37 weeks pregnant.

Well there you have it! I'm grateful that I got to experience what a summer pregnancy was like this time and now I truly feel like there's no time of year that's better than the other to have a baby - even in Houston. There are pros and cons no matter what time of year your spend your pregnancy or give birth so if you're panicking - it's going to be okay! No time is perfect but God's time is. (Does that make sense? No? Oh well!) Yay pregnancies no matter the time of year!

Cameron Heather

Introducing...

Cameron Heather! She arrived into this world at 12:53 p.m. on September 27, 2017. She weighed 9 lbs. 3 oz and was 20.5 inches long.

Maternity Photos with Baby #3

To celebrate our last week-ish of pregnancy, I thought I would share a few of my favorite maternity photos! I wasn't planning on having official photos taken, but we got super lucky and won a "model call" from a local photographer! She chose the location (the butterfly center at the Houston Museum of Natural Science), provided my dress and we got to have a fun evening together in addition to these photos to remember this special time. (We have actually never had official, professional maternity photos taken, so this was a super fun first for us!) A HUGE thank you to Kimberly Burleson Photography for capturing these meaningful moments! (P.S. These were taken back in July, when I was 29 weeks pregnant.)

Week 37 - Baby #3

Major events: Heidi and Wells starting preschool/MDO! (It's gotten pushed back multiple times due to Hurricane Harvey so even though I have been sad to lose those precious few days to myself, I'm happy to hopefully have one or two alone days before this baby girl gets here!)

Size of baby:  Stalk of swiss chard

Sleep: Seems to be better this week... while there is still a fair amount of tossing and turning and of course getting up to pee, I'm able to somewhat go back to sleep after bathroom visits and am awake for "normal" pregnancy reasons and not because of anxiety or stress keeping me awake. Yay!

Cravings: Okay this is so weird (and not FOOD craving related)... but this intensified sense of smell has me wanting to smell "bad for you fumes" SO bad!! Like, pumping gas at the gas station... OMG that smells so good. Rubbing alcohol, nail polish, exhaust fumes... even freshly poured asphault - SMELLS. SO. GOOD!! It takes a lot for me to not kill a zillion brain cells by inhaling all of these toxic fumes! I just want to smell them all!! 

Aversions: Food haha. There's just not a lot of room in there so food rarely sounds appealing.

Movement: Yes, although less it seems

Belly button in or out? Out (mostly)

Weight gain: 35ish lbs.

Missing: Alcohol occasionally but not every day... also missing feeling comfortable and being able to stand/sit/lay/move comfortably... there really is no position that is truly comfortable at this point.

Best part of this week: 

Hardest part of this week: 

Looking forward to: 

Signs of labor: 3cm dilated. Also, LOST THE MUCUS PLUG! This is the first time that it has been THIS obvious to me (in the past I think it's been a little bit more ambiguous or just come out gradually). But there was NO doubt that that's what happened. And you bet I took a picture to make Ryan look at it when he got home! Hey - if I have to deal with it you have to too buddy! (Not really, but I definitely wanted him to see it whether he wanted to or not haha! Sorry babe!) (Also, more than happy to show anyone else who "wants" to see or is curious... but I felt like subjecting the entire internet to seeing that picture without totally signing up for it wouldn't be fair. You're welcome.) Still having lots of pressure and braxton hicks. Also, baby girl definitely dropped on or after Thursday as suddenly my old discomforts have disappeared (and replaced by new ones) but I'm much more comfortable now. Before she dropped, I literally felt like my stomach was going to EXPLODE. Every organ was being completely crushed, skin and muscles tight, hard to breathe with lots of upper chest and shoulder pain/pressure... after she dropped most of that went away. Although, I am now experiencing more pelvic pain/pressure as well as bladder and cervical pressure (the amount of movement or whatever it is that I feel ON/IN my cervix is ridiculous!! It's like shes RIGHT there [ps she is].)

Emotions: All. Over the place. A lot of this has to do with losing the plug, but I think even if that hadn't happened I would still be a little bit of a mess. I'm trapped in between really wanting to meet her and really grieving that this pregnancy is basically over. So that's a pretty normal place to be in during my last month of pregnancy (on top of just being emotional in general from hormones and feeling uncomfortable). BUT... I was (and always have) mentally preparing myself to have at least until week 39 or so before baby comes. Granted, we never TRULY know and yes, sometimes babies decide to or need to come before that... but based on my history I usually don't "plan" on baby arriving prior to week 39. I prepare myself for a baby to come sometime during week 39 or even a week or two (or three) beyond that. So when I lost the plug a little over 37.5 weeks, it really threw me off. Losing the mucus plug really does not indicate much of anything as far as when labor will start. Statistically anyway. Some women lose it weeks before birth, days, hours, during and some don't even even know. BUT the fact that I lost the plug, plus all the braxton hicks, plus this being my third baby, plus already being 3cm dilated, PLUS the fact that the last time I gave birth was a mere 18 months ago... I really just started to feel convinced that there was/is a VERY real chance that she could come any minute. But the problem is... when you're pregnant and you let yourself start thinking that way... you really psych yourself out. Getting hopeful, but trying not to get your hopes up. Then feeling excited for birth... but then feeling like maybe I'm not ready yet... it's just a giant teeter totter of emotions yall. Back and forth back and forth. As exciting as it is to know that "things are happening" and my body is getting ready sometimes I wish that plug would have never fallen out because I would still be just happily living my life and not feeling quite AS stressed out about the timing of things. I hate stressing about the timing because I truly feel that it's up to my baby, my body and God (unless of an emergency) and it isn't really up to me anyway. It's just hard when everything already seems so out of control and then it gets even MORE out of our control! 

Hospital Bag!

Now that we are on baby #3, I feel fairly confident in my packing list for the hospital. I've managed to cut out (most of) the things that we don't need/use and at this point it's pretty much only the essentials! I'm mostly posting this list for myself for future reference, so that it's easy for me to find, but I still wanted to share since it was all already written out.

Before we get to the actual list here are a few of my thoughts/things I have learned after delivering 2 babies in the hospital. There are so many lists out there that want you to believe that you need to pack enough stuff for a month long trip to a foreign country. As a chronic over-packer (hey, I like to have options!) I've learned over time that lugging 50 lbs. worth of stuff for a 48ish hour hospital visit is not worth the frustration - especially when you only end up actually using 10% of it! I've seen lists that include bringing your own towels, pillows, eye mask, ear plugs, toilet paper and 8 pairs of underwear - newsflash you're not using any toilet paper after a vaginal delivery! (Not to mention the hospital DOES provide toilet paper believe it or not!) AND that hospital mesh underwear is aaaaamazing and way more comfortable than anything you could bring yourself. Even when it comes to pads - I promise you aren't going to be able to use anything but the hospital grade ones for several days (at least) after delivery! The hospital provides pretty much all of the true essentials. So why bother packing an entire package of overnight pads when the hospital has all of that? Eye mask and ear plugs? Really? Honestly, at this point I just treat it as if we were going to a hotel for a night or two (TP included), and not leaving the hotel. I mean, we're not going to Vegas or anything here people! I probably won't even bother packing a razor this time around (although, have I ever...?) because the last thing on your mind after having a baby is shaving your legs. Even brushing/fixing my hair is pretty low priority. I would much rather lay in bed a snuggle baby/nurse/take a nap! There's really not that much more stuff required than what you would need if you were having 2 couch/movie days in a row at home, in workout/comfy clothes - truly!

Okay now let's get to the good stuff!

So here is basically how I split up the packing: I have two bags for myself - one is for the actual labor and delivery and the other bag is for our postpartum hospital stay. With any birth - but especially natural birth - you need to have a lot of options for things to use during labor when it comes to relaxation techniques, distractions and just things to help you through. Since making multiple trips to and from the car wasn't exactly an option the last time, it's important for us to have to carry as few bags as possible into the hospital initially and then Ryan can go back out to the car once things have settled down and we are moved to recovery. So this first bag is pretty much everything that we would need right off the bat and maybe for the hour or two immediately following delivery. (Items with a star are things that won't be packed until we are headed out the door to the hospital. I'll expand on this a bit more below...)

Labor and Delivery Bag
- wallet*
- headphones
- flip flops (not your fancy pair!)
- personal hospital gown or bra/clothing to be worn during labor
- basic toiletries and toothbrush* (don't forget hair ties and bobby pins)
- phone and charger*
- speaker and charger for music
- camera/video camera
- snacks*
- birth plan/goals/wishes
- other preferred personal items for natural labor/birth (for me this includes rosewater room spray, essential oils and diffuser, birth affirmations/Bible verses, photo of my happy place - a beach in Hawaii, and head massager,)

Labor and delivery bag (clockwise-ish from top left): Toiletries bag, headphones, birth affirmations, bralette for labor (I'm trying to get out of wearing a hospital gown this time around hehe!) flip flops, rosewater room spray, camera, essential oils (bringing WAY too many but oh well!) and head massager (never actually used that but it feels so good I always want to have it available just as an option)!

This second bag contains things that won't be needed until after we get moved to recovery.

Postpartum Bag
- 1-2 nursing bras (NOTE: If this is your first baby, I recommend buying 1-2 "nursing sleep bras" like this or something like this 1 size up from your pregnancy sized boobs. It doesn't have to fit that great, an anything wireless is ideal since you just want to be comfy. Definitely don't go crazy and buy a bunch of options until a few days after your milk comes in and your boobs are no longer rock-hard playboy style watermelons. You think I'm joking...)
- 1 pair long comfy pants
- 2 pairs loose comfy shorts
- 2-3 nursing friendly shirts (I prefer to wear my own clothes as much as possible as opposed to the hospital gown)
- 1 pair of socks (I have never worn socks in the hospital, but I'll bring some just in case. They also have socks there should more than 1 pair be needed)
- memory foam seat cushion (those hospital beds can be so hard and really hurt your butt - this is my first time packing this but after my last baby I told myself this needs to be #1 on the list for the next time!)
- going home outfit**
- hairbrush**
- makeup**
- robe and pj set 
- nipple cream and/or soothie gel pads
- peri bottle (the hospital provides a peri bottle, but I am bringing THIS ONE with me this time bc I wanted one that actually works upside down [P.S. A peri bottle is what you use to wash off "down there" post childbirth - because toilet paper/any sort of contact is not an option for a good while!])
- nursing pads (just a few - you won't really need many until your milk comes in)

Postpartum bag (clockwise from top left): Socks, t-shirt and button up/nursing friendly shirt, nursing bras, nursing tops, going home outfit, robe/pj set, 2 pairs comfy shorts with 1 pair long comfy pants and in the center are the soothie gel nipple "pads", peri bottle and nursing pads.

Seat cushion for the hospital bed!

There is a potential for things to be very hectic and mentally chaotic when it's time for us to leave the house for the hospital if we are rushed, so I don't want to have to rely on my own brain/thought process in the moment! As I mentioned above, items on my list with a star next to them are things that don't make it in the bag initially because I'm still using them on a daily basis. Once everything else has been packed, I jot down those remaining (unpacked) items out on a sticky note and place with each bag. When I do go into labor, these last minute items can be easily and immediately thrown into the bags so all that's left is loading into the car. Here are those remaining items:

*Last minute items to grab for L&D bag
- wallet
- toothbrush
- phone and charger
- snacks and water bottle for hubby and snacks/drinks for me for after labor

**Last minute items to grab for Postpartum bag
- hairbrush
- makeup
- going home outfit/other clothing items that might have been worn and washed recently

As far as baby's things go, I usually have a very small bag with a few baby items (or keep them in my own bag) but again, the hospital provides nearly all of the essentials. We don't pack diapers or wipes and we usually end up mostly using the hospital's blankets and some of their baby clothes. This is what's left that we usually bring with us for baby!

Baby's bag
- 2-4 onesies and/or layettes
- 1-2 pairs of socks and scratch mittens
- 1 lightweight muslin swaddle blanket (just in case)
- wubanub/pacifier (some hospitals provide pacifiers, some are stingy. We usually bring our own "special" one and then take the one our hospital provides)
- going home outfit
- any other personal/special baby items (I have ordered a special swaddle with matching headband, and 1 special hat for us to bring to the hospital.)

This is probably MORE than enough to pack for baby!!
(Clothes, swaddles, pacifier, hat, scratch mittens and socks)

Lastly, this is not a list of items that MOST people need to worry about packing, but based on my history we will have a car delivery kit packed in the trunk for the last few weeks of my pregnancy. While I am still mentally preparing myself for an 18 hour labor just in case (hey anything is possible!) if things go any faster than they did the last time we won't be making it to the hospital. This list is still a work in progress, and SHOULD we have a car baby at any point, we certainly (hopefully) wouldn't be on our own long enough to need most of this stuff, let alone much else. Again, this list is probably not something that MOST people would even need to think about, but since we almost didn't make it to the hospital last time, we need to be prepared just in case.

Car kit
- plastic sheets, tarps or vinyl table cloths
- bulb syringe
- old (but clean) towels/blankets
- latex gloves (I keep these around in our kitchen for when I cut up onions, so we already have some on hand)
- ziploc bags for dirty items and/or for the placenta (in the unlikely case that it would delivered before we are at the hospital or paramedics have arrived)
- trash bag(s)
- adult diapers (also handy to have just in case my water breaks while we're out and about!)

Whew! Okay that was just supposed to be a short little post with a simple list but I guess I ended up expanding on my thought process. Don't let packing the hospital bag be a stressful process. Just remember - even if you forget something it's only for a short period of time and the hospital has everything that you would truly need. Thanks for sticking with me! (And P.S. Hubby packs his own bag - usually just a few clothing items and some toiletries.) Happy packing!!

Week 31 - Baby #3

Major events: Friend in town, attended a wedding out in the country and finally deciding on baby girl's name 100%

Size of baby:  A coconut

Sleep: Several bad nights...we had multiple middle-of-the-night (random) power outages that kept us up. One night neither Ryan and I really slept at all. For me, at least this week, it's SO hard to go back to sleep once I am awake - and when you're pregnant it's a guarantee that you will be waking up at least once MINIMUM. Boo!

Cravings: Frozen yogurt and gingerbread waffles

Aversions: None

Movement: Lots! Love finally being able to see so much of these movements from the outside. 

Belly button in or out? Half in half out - it's getting freaky!

Weight gain: 26ish lbs.

Missing: Alcohol (I don't usually miss it too much, but the hardest times to not be able to drink are always weddings!)

Best part of this week: Spending quality (down) time with my good friend, getting a run in and also got our maternity pictures back!!

Hardest part of this week: I felt like the week started off pretty hectic, which is also tough physically (lower back pain - yeowzers!) and also not sleeping much.

Looking forward to: A pretty slow week next week

Emotions: Emotions seem to be much more manageable at this point (at least this week)

Signs of labor/other: There have been several instances where I had a few braxton hicks back to back, and also a few that have been painful. So in an effort to slow them down, I have started making it my goal to drink 100 oz. of water per day. This seems to have made a difference, although I definitely still have them daily. They are much less intense and way less frequent so guess I'll continue. I have NEVER been so hydrated in my entire life!