Week 37 - Baby #3

Major events: Heidi and Wells starting preschool/MDO! (It's gotten pushed back multiple times due to Hurricane Harvey so even though I have been sad to lose those precious few days to myself, I'm happy to hopefully have one or two alone days before this baby girl gets here!)

Size of baby:  Stalk of swiss chard

Sleep: Seems to be better this week... while there is still a fair amount of tossing and turning and of course getting up to pee, I'm able to somewhat go back to sleep after bathroom visits and am awake for "normal" pregnancy reasons and not because of anxiety or stress keeping me awake. Yay!

Cravings: Okay this is so weird (and not FOOD craving related)... but this intensified sense of smell has me wanting to smell "bad for you fumes" SO bad!! Like, pumping gas at the gas station... OMG that smells so good. Rubbing alcohol, nail polish, exhaust fumes... even freshly poured asphault - SMELLS. SO. GOOD!! It takes a lot for me to not kill a zillion brain cells by inhaling all of these toxic fumes! I just want to smell them all!! 

Aversions: Food haha. There's just not a lot of room in there so food rarely sounds appealing.

Movement: Yes, although less it seems

Belly button in or out? Out (mostly)

Weight gain: 35ish lbs.

Missing: Alcohol occasionally but not every day... also missing feeling comfortable and being able to stand/sit/lay/move comfortably... there really is no position that is truly comfortable at this point.

Best part of this week: 

Hardest part of this week: 

Looking forward to: 

Signs of labor: 3cm dilated. Also, LOST THE MUCUS PLUG! This is the first time that it has been THIS obvious to me (in the past I think it's been a little bit more ambiguous or just come out gradually). But there was NO doubt that that's what happened. And you bet I took a picture to make Ryan look at it when he got home! Hey - if I have to deal with it you have to too buddy! (Not really, but I definitely wanted him to see it whether he wanted to or not haha! Sorry babe!) (Also, more than happy to show anyone else who "wants" to see or is curious... but I felt like subjecting the entire internet to seeing that picture without totally signing up for it wouldn't be fair. You're welcome.) Still having lots of pressure and braxton hicks. Also, baby girl definitely dropped on or after Thursday as suddenly my old discomforts have disappeared (and replaced by new ones) but I'm much more comfortable now. Before she dropped, I literally felt like my stomach was going to EXPLODE. Every organ was being completely crushed, skin and muscles tight, hard to breathe with lots of upper chest and shoulder pain/pressure... after she dropped most of that went away. Although, I am now experiencing more pelvic pain/pressure as well as bladder and cervical pressure (the amount of movement or whatever it is that I feel ON/IN my cervix is ridiculous!! It's like shes RIGHT there [ps she is].)

Emotions: All. Over the place. A lot of this has to do with losing the plug, but I think even if that hadn't happened I would still be a little bit of a mess. I'm trapped in between really wanting to meet her and really grieving that this pregnancy is basically over. So that's a pretty normal place to be in during my last month of pregnancy (on top of just being emotional in general from hormones and feeling uncomfortable). BUT... I was (and always have) mentally preparing myself to have at least until week 39 or so before baby comes. Granted, we never TRULY know and yes, sometimes babies decide to or need to come before that... but based on my history I usually don't "plan" on baby arriving prior to week 39. I prepare myself for a baby to come sometime during week 39 or even a week or two (or three) beyond that. So when I lost the plug a little over 37.5 weeks, it really threw me off. Losing the mucus plug really does not indicate much of anything as far as when labor will start. Statistically anyway. Some women lose it weeks before birth, days, hours, during and some don't even even know. BUT the fact that I lost the plug, plus all the braxton hicks, plus this being my third baby, plus already being 3cm dilated, PLUS the fact that the last time I gave birth was a mere 18 months ago... I really just started to feel convinced that there was/is a VERY real chance that she could come any minute. But the problem is... when you're pregnant and you let yourself start thinking that way... you really psych yourself out. Getting hopeful, but trying not to get your hopes up. Then feeling excited for birth... but then feeling like maybe I'm not ready yet... it's just a giant teeter totter of emotions yall. Back and forth back and forth. As exciting as it is to know that "things are happening" and my body is getting ready sometimes I wish that plug would have never fallen out because I would still be just happily living my life and not feeling quite AS stressed out about the timing of things. I hate stressing about the timing because I truly feel that it's up to my baby, my body and God (unless of an emergency) and it isn't really up to me anyway. It's just hard when everything already seems so out of control and then it gets even MORE out of our control!