Thursday, February 11, 2016

Week 32

Week 32

Major events: No major events this week - just trying to take it easy!
Size of baby: Jicama
Sleep: Still hanging in there... I had one night where I woke up several times because of hip pains, but luckily that was only one night. With my first pregnancy, I had SUCH a hard time getting comfortable and dealing with severe hip pains. I'm not sure if it was because I had gained significantly more weight than I have so far this time, or if it was just my body reacting/adjusting differently. Either way - I'm glad that sleep is still fairly easy to come by this time! 
Cravings: None
Aversions: None
Movement: Oh yes!! It is so bizarre to actually be able to FEEL your uterus stretching... something that I don't recall feeling specifically with Heidi. Sometimes it is painful, and sometimes it just feels bizarre. 
Belly button in or out? In and super flat!
Weight gain: 23 lbs.
Missing: Nothing really...
Best part of this week: Feeling so much better! And getting to spend time with many mama friends this week
Hardest part of this week: 3 things really... 1. "Taking it easy" has been a little tough. The whole "no running, no sex, no cleaning the whole house" stuff has not been super fun, and of course my mind goes to extreme places like "what if my doctor keeps me on these restrictions for the next 7 weeks!? I'm going to go insane!!" Hopefully, this does not end up being the case. 2. I really overdid it one day this week. The thing is - I didn't really DO that much... but for my body (typically), by the 8th/9th month of pregnancy for me that is when "overdoing it" just means not sitting/laying down enough! Ryan was going to be gone ALL day the following day (4am - midnight), so the day before I wanted to get some stuff out of the way so that while he was gone I wouldn't have too much on my plate. I went to our playgroup with Heidi in the morning, then we powered through our grocery store trip (we already got there pretty late and then Heidi needed to go potty. At this point, it is fairly painful for me to sit somewhat contorted in the backseat, while trying to maneuver her in and out of her carseat and on her potty, etc. Also, she pooped so that also added to some of the complication - sorry HEB but that wasn't a dog that pooped in the planter at the front of the parking lot!) The we finally got home, ate lunch and I put Heidi down for a nap. I unloaded all of the groceries out of the car and brought them inside. By the time I unloaded groceries, jacked around straightening things up, etc... it was time to get Heidi up. (I'm not even sure what I was DOING for those 2 hours but it went by fast and I wasn't sitting on the couch watching TV!) Once Heidi was awake, we played for a bit, Ryan got home and then I cooked dinner. (He DID offer to cook dinner but I still insisted that I do it.) By this point in the evening (pretty much every evening) I am already in quite a bit of pain, but tonight I could tell it was a little worse due to exhaustion... so when I went to salt my food and the lid fell off in my plate (followed by all of the contents of the sale grinder)... I tried really hard not to cry...but I lost it. I was so tired, and my belly hurt so bad and it just seemed like everything was awful. I really hadn't even gotten to sit down the whole day except for meals - which isn't really "relaxing". ANYWAY - all of that being said the next day, I dropped Heidi off at MDO and then went home, laid down on the couch and watched the Bachelor and HGTV the whole day. Even though I never fell asleep... it was amazing!! Also, knowing Ryan would not be home that evening I tried to enjoy "not doing anything" as much as I possibly could, which brings me to 3. It is so tough when Ryan is not home in the evenings to help out. (Single mamas I don't know how you do it. Yall are amazing.) Heidi's bath has to be in a bucket on the floor (which I don't think she hates ;)...) because I can't bend over the tub to bathe her. Then by the time she is in bed and I finish the dishes and clean up the house, etc... it's super late! It's so hard only having one set of hands to get everything done that needs to get done. Ryan has another trip coming up soon that will take him away for us for 3 evenings. I am a little bit nervous/anxious about this (especially because we have a lot going on that week as it is) and I know the evenings will be so tough on me physically. I'm trying very hard to prepare our schedule/meals/etc. so that it isn't too strenuous. 
Looking forward to: Doctor appointment coming up - along with our unexpected ultrasound! I'm excited to see our baby boy one last time before his arrival! And hopefully getting the nursery painted this weekend! Hopefully...
Emotions: It's been a pretty emotional week as it is and I do constantly struggle with feeling stressed and overwhelmed now that we are getting closer to his arrival. There's just so much to do! I usually feel very depressed in the evenings, when I am the most exhausted. Tiredness = depression and crying BIG time...not unlike any other normal human being, but pregnancy just magnifies this significantly. I am aware of when I feel this way and know that it's just because I need sleep and rest, so usually once I get some sleep I feel much better the next morning. 
Signs of labor: (I'm adding this category even though I feel like it's kind of dumb. Any "sign" of labor isn't really any sort of indicator as far as timeline goes... but nonetheless I still want to remember things leading UP TO actual labor. I personally don't believe there are any true signs of labor that will tell you WHEN you will go into labor - until you are actually IN labor.) That being said... I am still having a few braxton hicks contractions here and there, however now that I actually know what they feel like I am always over thinking and doubting whether or not they are actually occurring! (Is this one? Maybe. I think it is... Wait, maybe it isn't? Okay, yeah possibly.) But other than that baby is still showing all the right signs that he plans on staying in there for a good while longer!!

8 months!

When Daddy's out of town and Mommy is 8 month pregnant... bathtime happens in a bucket on the floor! 
Heidi likes to put her feet on the baby's feet...

I love this belly.

Wednesday, February 3, 2016

Week 31 Madness

Week 31 (heads up this is a super long one!)

Major events: Oh geeze... by FAR the MOST eventful week of pregnancy I have ever had!! First few braxton hicks contractions EVER, got a terrible stomach bug and also took an unexpected trip to Labor and Delivery! Yikes!
Size of baby: A coconut
Sleep: Fine (except that one night...)
Cravings: Cookies 'n cream ice cream
Aversions: None
Movement: SO much. I can't believe how strong he is getting. I told Ryan earlier this week that I wouldn't be surprised if he was ready to come out of there before his due date because he seems to be so strong and active!
Belly button in or out? In... I also noticed the FAINTEST sign of the linea nigra showing up (that line that runs up the middle of pregnant bellies)... still hard to tell if it's just my imagination or not...I wasn't sure if it was going to happen - by this time in my first pregnancy I had already had that line for 10 weeks!
Weight gain: 23 lbs. Also, this week I noticed that butt and inner thigh weight gain! These were actually the FIRST places I noticed some weight gain in my previous pregnancy, so I'm surprised it took 31 weeks to show up this time around!
Missing: Breathing. I have definitely noticed a HUGE difference this week in my lung capacity. I am yawning alll the time - not because I'm tired (well yes that) but because I frequently feel short of breath. It really does feel like something is sitting on my chest! I can also feel baby pressing into my stomach and it pretty much hurts all the time (except in the mornings before I eat anything!) I miss being hungry and being able to eat a giant meal!
Best part of this week: Spending time as a family of 3... 3.5... 4.... however you want to look at it ;). We had a very enjoyable weekend and finally decided on a paint color for the babies room! (That's right people. We literally have done nothing to prepare for him yet. AAAH! And I thought we got a late start on nursery prep for Heidi!)
Hardest part of this week: Our trip to the hospital sucked. (See below for details on this!)  Also throwing up SUPER hard is not fun - pregnant or not!
Looking forward to: Feeling more like myself... catching up on sleep...and unexpectedly getting to SEE our baby boy one more time via ultrasound next week! 
Emotions: SO much more emotional this week... I could definitely feel my hormones ramping up BIG time. This whole week I have become much more weepy... and one minute I feel like everything is perfect and the next minute I feel like the world is crashing down on me. It's rough! (This could also explain why that linea nigra has decided to show up THIS week - it's caused by hormones!!)

31 week belly!

I DO think that she is starting to get it...

Other happenings: Okay SO much has happened this week, I felt like I should record all of the details in the order of which they occurred. On Tuesday (which was actually technically week 30, day 7) I noticed my lower belly felt so hard! I walked up to Ryan and said "feel how hard this is right now!" At the time, I remember thinking it was just the baby's head pressing down suuuper low. Thursday (so 2 days later aka week 31, day 2) I was sitting straight up on the couch when I felt this weird hardness/tightness. It literally felt like my bladder had suddenly been filled with cement. I thought "man this baby sure is pressing down into my bladder!" and thought maybe I just had to pee really bad or something. Went to the bathroom... nothing. I was still thinking it was just the position he was in. A few hours later, lying in bed I felt this same weird feeling. It FINALLY clicked - I was having braxton hicks contractions!! I have NEVER experienced what this felt like before so this was super new and it took a few for me to realize what was going on. I have always been curious as to what this feels like! The only way I have ever heard it described is "a tightening in your abdomen" or your "uterus tightening up", "not painful", etc. etc... which to me isn't really a helpful description! I'm thinking... "okay, so like, when you flex your abs or what?!" But knowing what I know now... (at least for me) it was literally like I had a brick in my bladder. A very heavy feeling. It definitely didn't hurt... but it felt like my "bladder" weighed about 20 lbs. and from the outside, pressing on that lower area felt hard as a rock. 

On Saturday morning (week 31, day 4) I went to the bathroom and noticed some spotting. Nothing crazy... but after not having any sort of period or anything since... June (what!?! One of the best things about being pregnant for sure hehe) seeing ANY sort of color is alarming. Even though it was super light and not really red... still scary. I didn't want to go crazy and call the hospital or anything like that but just continue to monitor it and see what happened. (I also had an appointment scheduled for Tuesday, and decided that if things got worse I would call and try to get in on Monday... but hopefully I wouldn't have to and the Tuesday appointment would be fine to wait and mention this to my doctor then.) I will also say... this was 24 hours after sex. After I realized this, I was much more "okay" with it - even though that had never happened before. I know it's a thing. I know it's common. Even though I still felt like 24 hours was a long time to pass before seeing any spotting... but again something I just decided to bring up to my doctor. (Spotting [minimal bleeding] after sex/vaginal exams/etc. is "normal" during pregnancy because of the increased blood flow to your cervix. But if you experience this you should definitely tell your doctor/midwife!)

Monday evening (week 31, day 6) I started feeling not so great. I forced myself to eat dinner even though I didn't feel like there was any room in my stomach. I laid down on the couch for a bit while Ryan did the dishes and took a shower. I was so uncomfortable. We got into bed and I just felt terrible. I felt like I needed to burp but that my stomach was too crunched to let it out. I felt like there was something stuck in my throat. I felt heartburn-y and gross. (I also have to mention that at this point I feel my stomach inside the base of my ribcage... it definitely isn't anywhere NEAR my bellybutton.) So it felt like my dinner was literally just resting right underneath my boobs and couldn't go anywhere. I forced some tea down hoping it would maybe help and attempted to go to sleep. I woke up around 2:30 and felt like I was maybe going to throw up. Went to the bathroom but didn't. I continued to toss and turn all night, constantly getting up and going to the bathroom. Then, at about 5:00 or 5:30, I woke up and again felt like I was going to throw up. I was slightly nauseated, but could also feel my stomach stomach contracting - and contracting hard. (My stomach which is now just below my boobs.) It was painful. These kind of stomach pains/contractions only happen when I REALLY have to throw up (not like... if say one may have had too much to drink or something like that...not that I would know or anything ;)...!) Went to the bathroom and bam. Threw up. Hoping that was it, I attempted to go back to sleep and get some rest. About an hour later I threw up again. And again an hour after that... I am SO grateful that Ryan stayed home from work to be with me, help me get Heidi to MDO and drive me to my appointment. (Also, SUPER grateful that I already had an appointment scheduled for that day - seems like we all of the sudden went from having zero concerns to quite a few!) In the backseat of the car on Hwy 59, there I am throwing up again in a trashcan we brought with is. (At this point, it's basically dry heaving because there's just nothing left. OUCH.) 

So we got situated in our waiting room and I explain to the nurse these things that have been going on (BH contractions, spotting and puking). She told me to undress and that the doctor was probably going to want to examine me. GREAT. (For those of you who have been through a pregnancy before... you know that exams happen at only about 10% of your appointments.) At this point, I wasn't panicking or anything but I could definitely sense a shift in how I was feeling about this go-round at the doctor's. My doctor came in and we talked about everything. She did an exam and took a swab. She explained to us that the test she was running a "fetal fibronectin test" (click HERE if you're curious about the details of this test!) which essentially tests for pre-term labor. It's a great test if it's negative but not that great if it's positive - meaning that if the test comes back negative, there is a 90% chance you WON'T have a baby within 2 weeks, but if it's positive it doesn't necessarily mean that you will. She also told me that my cervix was already thinning and I am 1 cm dilated (which doesn't really mean THAT much to me since women walk around for weeks at 4 cm+ dilated)! Since I was throwing up at somewhat regular intervals (which honestly, for me is pretty normal when I have a stomach bug) her concern was that I was throwing up because of contractions. I told her that I didn't think what I was feeling was contractions, because it felt SO different from my contractions with Heidi. But I also explained to her that I could feel my stomach tensing up (again, stomach stomach, not necessarily my uterus "stomach" or belly "stomach" and that when I was going to throw up was somewhat predictable. 

I believe that each one of these pregnancy "issues" individually would not have been enough to land us in the hospital. Braxton hicks? Normal. Spotting after sex? Normal. Throwing up? Normal. I just think it was the "perfect storm" of little things that caused reason for some concern - together they all COULD have been pointing towards symptoms of early labor. All of these things combined were enough to raise some red flags so my doctor decided to send us over to the hospital for monitoring... to check for contractions, monitor baby, get me fluids if I continued to not keep anything down, etc. 

Obviously, I knew this was all just to be on the safe side... but not exactly how you want (or expect) your day to go at 31/32 weeks pregnant... My doctor also told me no more running, no sex (boo!!) and to take it super easy. None of which are things I like to hear... but she also requested that we come in for an ultrasound and follow up appointment next week to reevaluate everything. Hopefully I get the green light to continue all normal (and extracurricular hehe) activities then. Otherwise... this could be a ROUGH 2 months. 

So off we went to the hospital. Walking inside, I let my mind go to all of the crazy places that it doesn't need to...but still does... preparing myself for the worst. (As we're walking in I'm thinking..."What if the next time we leave here we have a baby in our arms"... or..."Maybe I should make a list of where all of the things I need at home are located in case someone has to bring my hospital bag to me" etc. etc.) As we walked into our room, I see the gown lying on the bed and the little baby warmer all set up waiting for a little tiny person. It just made things all too real. Even though I was not in labor or anything close to that... it was more than I was really ready to see this early on. 


I got hooked up to the monitors right away but everything after that seemed to take forever...things in hospitals seem to go so slow and I also knew that we probably weren't the priority as I'm sure there were other women there who were actually having babies at that moment. Finally, 2 nurses came in to put in an IV and draw blood for some tests (no fluids, just the needle in case they needed to hook me up). Of COURSE... nurse #1 says "Oh she's new here, but she's worked other places before so we are just showing her how we do things here"... and then proceeded to say to nurse #2 "Now what you want to do is..." giving her step by step instructions on how to stick me. NOT what you want to hear! Then nurse #2 says (while attempting to insert the needle) "Oh, shoot" and nurse #1 takes over from there. I realize that everyone has to learn somehow, and I'm usually "somewhat" open to being a guinea pig... but not NOT with needles while I am pregnant and definitely NOT while I am somewhere I already shouldn't be!! Not okay people. Anyway, that was really painful and sucked so I was glad when they left. (I have had SOOO many IVs in my life and I don't understand why it's so hard to come by people who are GOOD at it! Quick and easy please. Also I have AWESOME veins. Comeon, man!!) 




Several hours passed, a few more people in and out. Going on about 18+ hours of no food or water... I can remember thinking "if something crazy happens and someone walks in here and tells me I have to have this baby today... I don't think I could do it." I was so SO weak and so exhausted. Finally, the nurse came in and told us she had called my doctor. Everything looked normal, baby is healthy and to just take it easy and hydrate. (At this point, I was keeping clear liquids down.) We were free to go home. YES. I was so SO grateful to hear these words (and was super looking forward to going home to get some true rest). Once we got home, I ate some cheerios (the only thing that sounded half-way appealing even though I was starving) took a nap and picked up our crazy Heidi. After Heidi was in bed, Ryan picked up some sandwiches for us from Jimmy Johns... oh MAN was baby boy so happy about this. I could tell even HE felt way better after I ate - 20 minutes later he was going crazy in there!! He was active throughout the day but definitely not THIS active! I was happy that he enjoyed finally getting a "meal" :).

As stressful and crazy as that day (and this whole week really) has been, there are many things that I am grateful for. 

I am so grateful for my doctor. She is the reason why I drive almost 45 minutes to the other side of town just to see her every (year, month, week) for what is usually a 60 second appointment. She isn't fluffy, but isn't cold either. She always knows when to assure me that something is normal or when some investigation is needed. She is a runner. and she supports my desire to run throughout my pregnancies. I respect her and I trust her. 

I am grateful for friends and family who never stop supporting us. For in-laws who leave work early to pick up our first baby from MDO. For friends who text to check up on us, for those who pray for us and think of us. I always feel so... undeserving... and indebted to...the community that God has blessed us with. I hope I never stop striving to "repay" them for just loving us and caring for us the ways that they do. I hope each and every friend/family member/acquaintance knows just how much we appreciate them, the support they provide and the time they take to reach out to us. We love you friends.

I am grateful for my husband, who takes off work at the drop of a hat to be by my side. He holds my hair when I'm throwing up and holds my hand when I'm in pain.  He does ridiculous things for me too... when I'm laying in a hospital bed and my water bottle slides just out of reach and I can't quite get to it without sitting up (which is hard to do I might add)... he's the one to grab it for me. I love him for that. I love him for the big things as well as the small. He does so much when I know he is tired or has been at work all day or just doesn't feel like it. and he never complains about it. 

I am grateful that God has kept me and my baby safe, and that even though that experience wasn't a fun one - it could have been much different in a lot of ways. (Even the fact that we already had an appointment scheduled was such a blessing - AND on a day where Heidi was at school most of the day.) 

Lastly, I'm grateful for the time I spent in the hospital because I got to hear my baby's heart beating, his hiccups and his kicks. How cool is it - that usually HE is the one hearing MY heart beating all day and on this day, I got to sit for hours and do nothing but listen to his.  

Baby boy, I love your heart and I LOVE hearing it beat. But I hope I don't see this image any time super soon!

Week 31 you were crazy, but you brought us one step closer to meeting our baby boy.