It's been a long time. Things have been very quiet over here this year (at least as far as this blog goes)! I just haven't been in a season where blogging was a priority. And I'm okay with that. I have in fact been very at peace with it happening that way and was really happy to just take some time off, indefinitely. I've continued sharing about my life (not that it's particularly riveting) on my personal Instagram, but blogging just sounded like too much effort (/time/energy/thought/etc.). Something that I'm learning about my life as a mom of a thousand kids (okay jk it's currently "only" 3) is that sometimes things just get put on the back burner. Sometimes it's intentional and sometimes it's not. BUT that doesn't actually mean I'm quitting them forever. Or even quitting them “until my kids are older”. "Not today" doesn't mean "never again". I've temporarily stopped selling burp cloths on my Etsy shop. I just felt like in this season that wasn't something I wanted on my plate. However, I'm not saying I'm done with that forever, or even a long time. It's weird but also insanely peaceful feeling released from so many of those things. I'm just in a place now where I can say "I'll do that when I feel like it".
Anyway, blogging is something that I love to do. Mostly as more of a journal for myself. But also because I think being open and honest (yes even in online/social media world) can really help us feel less alone in this world. I truly believe that social media gets a really bad rap, unnecessarily. Sure there are things about it that can be unhealthy, but I have really enjoyed the connections and community that I have found through Instagram and blogging. I really think it is what you make it. You have the ability to choose that for yourself. (And shout out to those women out there who make my social media feeds super authentic!)
SO. All of that being said. I think I'm coming back to a place where I would like to start documenting a little more, sharing a little more. I've also been struggling with my identity and I hope maybe this will give me a little direction. It's also an amazing excuse to get away for a bit and just be in my own head - something you don't really get to do much of when you are at home with lots of littles.
It seriously took me a year and a half of HELL (see here and here if you'd like a little taste) before I realized "Ooooooh this is a SEASON. THIS is what people mean when they say they went through a 'hard season'". It was really strange, that moment. I can't believe it took me that long to come to that realization! In a way, that brought me some comfort, because it gave me hope that life won't always feel this "off" or hard/weird/isolating. But becoming aware of this season we are in... didn't change the fact that we are still in it and we don't really know for how long. I'm still hopeful that greener pastures are ahead, however far off they may be.
We've made some big changes in our lives. We've come a long way but still have a long way to go. After these last 2 years, I needed a change. A BIG change. (At one point, we were actually looking at potentially moving our family to Montreal. So insane.) We were looking to do something drastic, clearly. We ended up not going THAT extreme, but we decided to build a new home in a new community. We sold our house, put our stuff into a POD, and moved into a 2 bedroom apartment. What a HUGE weight off of our shoulders that was - leaving that house forever. To say I needed a change of scenery after what we've been through would be an understatement. There was just so much baggage associated with that house and it hadn’t been what I wanted it to be for a long time. I like our new little temporary home. I like where it is and what it is. I'm using this time to focus on myself and find peace. I've been training for some half marathons, focusing on self-care and exploring what that means, making new friends, and dreaming about what the future holds for our family. There's still some hard parts, and I have to figure out just who it is that I am now but I'll get into that another time.
I want to keep this little update semi-short and sweet, so I'll cut myself off here for now. I'm really looking forward to sharing some more little thoughts and updates from this season that we are in and also a few things (pregnancy-birth related) that I've learned from my experiences in this season so far. (And maybe I'll even get to some of these drafts that I've had sitting here for years and years.)
Thank you for sharing this space with me. I am grateful for you :).
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| Our new (temporary) home. This blue front door is especially meaningful to us :). |
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