Heidi's 2nd Birthday Party

For Heidi's 2nd birthday, I tried to think of the things Heidi loves the most. Her top three favorite things in life are probably the movie "Elf", french fries and donuts. Since her birthday is in May, and a french fry themed party might be a little difficult to pull off...a donut party it was! It was the perfect theme and super easy to come up with decorations and food (and I didn't have to spend 40 hours the week before baking and cooking wohoo!) Here are a few of the details from the day!

The invitations.

Front porch - donut balloon and donut door dec!

Favor table - "donut" cookies! (Also a box for donations!
In lieu of gifts we ask our guests to bring items to donate to a local Houston charity.)

Paper donuts on the mantle! (Thanks for my sister in law for cutting these out on her Cricut machine!!)

The mantle.

The spread (and the cake)!

Best/easiest party food ever!

The mimosa/beverage station!

Dangling donuts!

(Yes, we serve champagne at a 10am bday little kid bday party. DUH! #alwayshavealwayswill)

Heidi and her "donut" cake! (Pre-finger burn. I TOTALLY forgot to explain to Heidi that candles are hot and will give you owies so of course before I had a chance to help her blow them out she reached out and grabbed one! Don't worry she was fine a few minutes later. Hey you gotta learn somehow, right?!)

Donut shirt and donut skirt (shirt courtesy of Target and my SIL with her Cricut,
skirt courtesy of RBC2Creations on Etsy).

Bag FULL of bottles, sippy cups and baby lotion to donate to Star of Hope Mission!
Thank you to all who donated!

Happy birthday to the one who made me a mama!!

Wells' Birth Story - Part 2

Continued from Wells Birth Story Part 1!

7:27 p.m. -  Just after we left the house, Ryan kept asking "Are you SURE you want me to stop at Jimmy Johns?! Are you sure?!" (It's literally 2 minutes from our house.) I said "Yes, because even if I can't eat it now then I can have something to eat afterwards!" (For some reason, there was still a part of me that thought I would be able to scarf it down as I was crunched over the back seat...HAHA.) So we stopped at Jimmy Johns. (Funny story... we've been to this JJs a thousand times and literally every time they are handing us our sandwiches as we are handing them our payment - they are SO fast! So, Ryan goes in, orders, pays and then the guy says "Oooohhh I JUST took the bread out of the oven, so it's going to be about 10-15 minutes is that okay??" Ryan responded "ANY other day this would not be a problem... I promise I am not making this up but my wife is in labor in the car!" Then the guy asked Ryan if it was okay to use their "day old bread" to which Ryan said "YES YES THAT'S FINE!!")

7:33 p.m. - While Ryan was inside Jimmy John's (I think? This car part is a little bit of a blur for me) I texted my doula, photographer and uncle "Headed to the hospital. Contractions are super close." My photographer (who also happens to live on our side of town - about 35ish minutes from the hospital) responded with "Should head over too? I think I should..." (Typically she waits until her clients are checked at the hospital and 5-6cm dilated before making her way there, but since I had been dilated 3-4cm for several weeks already we had previously discussed the possibility of her coming a little earlier in case things go quickly.) I can remember that I considered telling her to wait until we got a little closer to the hospital, at least so she would be a few minutes behind us... but finally I just pulled the trigger and responded with "Yes." I was officially past the point of being able to have any sort of conversation or think about anything BUT bringing a sweet babe into the world!! I then turned on my phone's bluetooth so I could control what we were listening to and put Colton Dixon's "You Are" on repeat and we listened to it the whole way there. (This is a song that God has used to reveal himself intensely to me in the past...)

When I first got into the backseat, I was worried that because I didn't have a choice of what position I was laboring in that things would become painful. But once we got going, I was able to refocus my mind on the Lord and get back into the zone. I realized that my contractions were still not painful and thought maybe it was because my knees were together, legs closed and my pelvis was not able to keep opening up. So, I spread my legs as wide as I had space for and still... no pain. It was actually a relatively quiet car ride. In a lot of ways, I felt like that drive took forever...I remember (not being able to actually ASK where we were) pulling up google maps on my phone... we were at Beltway 8 and I-45 (for those that don't live in Houston that's still 15-20 minutes away from the hospital)... but then suddenly I saw the concrete on the side of the overpass after we exited and were about to U-turn to get to the hospital entrance. "We're here!! We're here!!" I was thinking. Then suddenly the car ride didn't feel so long.

8:15 p.m. - Ryan pulled up to the entrance to drop me off... AS our photographer was walking up. What luck!! (Also, SOO glad that she left when she did!!) I got out of the car and leaned up against the brick wall outside while Ryan parked the car. Pretty much immediately after I stood up contractions were ON TOP of each other. I had almost no time between them, but I continued to "ride the waves" as they say and still felt like I was able to stay in front of them. I leaned and swayed and moaned and hummed until Ryan returned and the 3 of us walked inside. As Ryan went up to check in at the visitors desk, I just headed straight for the corner behind the desk. (At this point, I was not really consciously thinking about what I was doing - just doing whatever my instinct was telling me I needed to do!) I just stood in the corner facing the wall and Ryan started to fill out the visitors nametag info. The lady working at the front desk realized what was going on, so she stopped him after he wrote in his name (they want you to write more info down than that usually) and told us to just go ahead and go back to check in at the L&D nurses station.

8:24 p.m. - It took us a few minutes to get back to the nurses station because I had to stop walking with each contraction. I could tell that once we got back there, the nurses weren't really taking us seriously... at least at first. I'm sure they just thought I was a first time mom being dramatic about how much "pain" I was in or something like that... but then once they asked "Is this your first?" and we told them it was my second... I could tell then that the vibe changed. "Oh...." It clicked. I then said "I think I'm going to start leaking onto the floor" (It felt like my adult diaper had reached its max and I felt a LOT of fluid rushing out of me - but luckily it hadn't.) They seemed concerned about me making a mess (really??)... so one older grandma nurse said "Okay, well let me go get a wheelchair". "NO" I said. "I have to walk". She looked offended, like I had just told her that her grandkids were ugly or something, but I really don't think that anyone understood that there was NO way I was going to be able to sit at this point. They told us we were going to go ahead and just skip triage (thank GOODNESS) and head straight to our L&D room... which just so happened to be the EXACT same room that I delivered Heidi in!!

8:35 p.m. - We got into our L&D room where we met our AWESOME nurse! I loved her. At this point there was a lot of chaos - our nurse had to call for a lot of backup because there weren't enough nurses readily available. She was quickly trying to tear open all of the packaging for the supplies needed and get everything ready. I actually REALLY appreciated that everyone was busy trying to get everything ready instead of focusing on me - I could just stand there and do my thing and be left alone! I was standing with the bathroom door open clutching one doorknob in each hand and was quite comfortable laboring there. Once or twice, someone told me I needed to put on the hospital gown hanging on the bathroom door, but I had NO time between contractions to do so. I just kept standing there (thinking maybe eventually I would put it on). It started to feel really good to push a little bit. Not a lot, but just enough to feel relief against the pressure of the contractions. I probably wasn't pushing TOO much harder than when you have a tickle in your throat but you're trying to hold it in? Almost like that, but with grunting sounds.

At this point, the head nurse (charge nurse?) whoever... came in, looked at me and said - in THE most condescending, sassy, judgy voice - "Have you ever worn a hospital gown before?" "Have you ever given birth 'this way' before?" (WHAT?! ARE YOU JOKING ME LADY?!) "Well, now that you're here this baby is OUR responsibility. There are certain things that need to happen, paperwork that needs to be filled out etc. etc."...

Okay FIRST of all lady - you have NO idea how many hospital gowns I have worn in my life. More than I can count on 2 hands. SO DON'T EVEN. Secondly.... this is my body, MY baby and OUR birth experience so yes you do have some "responsibility" but this is MY thing right now - not yours. I chose to be here. And YES I have done this "this way" before thank you very much.

I shot a look of DEATH to Ryan and I know that he knew exactly what I was thinking  "IF THIS LADY DOESN'T GET OUT OF MY ROOM RIGHT NOW..." I was RIGHT on the edge of totally flipping my $#!* on her and if she had stayed in there a moment longer, I would have really lost it... and honestly I would have told her that I have ZERO problems turning my butt around and delivering this baby in the woods behind the hospital because I was not about to have someone with that attitude around me and talking to me that way. (Actually, giving birth in the woods sounds pretty cool anyway! TRY ME lady!)

via GIPHY
^^^Me: "OH HELL NO LADY!"

After 2 VERY positive natural hospital birth experiences this was the ONLY person who I have ever come across that made me never want to give birth in a hospital again - someone who us natural birth mamas hope we never encounter. I was very surprised at how unsupportive she seemed.

Luckily, (after very sassily telling me "we really need you to put this gown on" a few more times) she left. Once she was gone, I was finally able to remove my clothing, put on the hospital gown and lay down on the bed where I was hooked up to the belly monitors.

8:45 p.m. - This was the only time where I felt as though the contractions were getting ahead of me, like I was starting to lose control a little bit. I looked up at Ryan and told him that I felt like I couldn't quite get in front of the contractions. The nurse came over to check me and as soon as a contraction had passed I gave her the go ahead to check. She said I was basically complete, 9/10cm and mostly effaced. (At this point, I also asked if there was a doctor IN the hospital. To my relief - the answer was yes! She was in a c-section. I had already decided that I was NEVER going to hold a baby in again. If I felt the urge to push, I'm pushing this baby out and whoever wants to catch him can do it.) Once the nurse told me that I was pretty much "there", I think that was enough motivation/encouragement for me to stay in the zone and get "back in front of" the contractions. (This is hard to really put into words what that exactly means... so, sorry if that doesn't totally make sense.) I continued to "kind of" push with each contraction because it felt good - not necessarily because I felt like I absolutely had to.

My nurse asked me if I wanted her to put in an IV. I considered it and asked her "How good are you at it?!" (because I somehow always end up getting someone who puts it in wrong) but then as another contraction came on I told her to just forget it.

Just a few minutes after this I was rechecked and told it was time! The doctor came in and I really felt like I was too "aware" for it to actually be time to do this! With my first baby, I had been in labor for SO long, and had been "holding her in" (aka laying on my side and pushing HARD) that I was in this TOTALLY different world, so exhausted and instinct had taken over my entire being. This time, I was thinking "There's no way it's actually time to do this!"

8:51 p.m. - Ryan's mom texted him saying that they had arrived at the hospital. (I was not pushing yet...) She hauled butt and made it into our room just as I was starting to push.

8:54(ish) p.m.  - Stirrups were pulled out, Ryan was instructed to hold a leg (something he wasn't doing the first time! So he got to see EVEN MORE this time HEHE - "splash zone" as he calls it) and as the next contraction came I was told to push. I was SO conscious of truly FEELING this baby come out. This part was painful, but it really was not unbearable or unmanageable. (Pushing is just so great and feels "good" in so many ways!)

This was the only time during my whole labor that there was any screaming. You're not supposed to scream during pushing because it let's the air out of your lungs. So I just let out a few little high pitched "bursts" of screams (and only one curse word!), so I could keep as much air in and apply as much force as I could. The most memorable "pain" that I recall feeling was just a burning on the "top". I don't remember feeling this burning during Heidi's birth (maybe because she spent almost 2 hours going in and out of the birth canal?) even though it was painful with her.

I felt as though the first contraction had ended but was told to keep pushing. Maybe 1-2 more pushes and then I took a quick break. The next contraction came a few seconds later and I started pushing again. That feeling of getting the head out is indescribable. Once the head was out I knew we were pretty much done. Another 2 pushes or so later and...

8:56 p.m. - Out came my baby!! I can remember almost not believing that he was already here. I said multiple times, "That was too easy!" (Something that I had been thinking the whole time but didn't want to say out loud until he was ACTUALLY all the way here!) After delivering Heidi, I can remember thinking... "that was fun but let's maybe not do this again for a while". This time, I said "I could do that 50 more times!!" It was absolutely blissful - the best word I can think of to describe it.

This time around we were able to delay cord clamping for a few minutes (until it stopped pulsating) to give baby a little bit more blood and also have skin-to-skin for almost a FULL HOUR before he was removed from my chest and cleaned up.

Now I realize that this part sounds totally and completely disgusting, but when it's your own baby...it's just different. The "vernix" (aka the cheesy-ness) was AMAZING. (And Wells was SUUUPER cheesy - way more than Heidi was!) I LOVED having his cheesy body on mine for so long before anyone else even touched him.

With Heidi, we had a few moments of skin to skin but the nurses were also wiping her down pretty vigorously at the same time right after she came out. So even though she wasn't totally "cleaned up" she was still a little cleaned off. With Wells, no one touched him. I loved the way it went down with Heidi, and I wasn't bothered by the fact that she was wiped down... but to hold Wells, all warm, squishy, slimy, bloody, cheesy... on my own body for a full HOUR was BEYOND incredible. I KNOW it sounds SO gross but when it's your own baby it's just so beautiful. I loved it and in the future, I will always request to have my baby on my chest, untouched, for as long as possible. (I was actually a little sad when I saw them bathing him and washing all of the vernix off of him... something I NEVER in a million years thought I would feel! I was thinking "It's being washed off forever and never coming back!")

There was no time for an episiotomy this time, so I did tear (you usually tear over your old scar tissue anyway) so the doctor began stitching me up as I was enjoying my precious slimy baby. However, I was feeling WAY too much of the stitches and requested multiple times for more lidocaine! Not sure if I ever got more because I still felt every stitch and this took my attention briefly off of Wells because I had to deal with that pain.

Once the doctor was done stitching me up we had some alone time with baby (and I let him nurse for the first time - and my photographer got pictures of that first latch! I didn't realize that I had actually missed breastfeeding...) Then our family members were allowed to come back to meet our precious baby boy. Once all of our guests had left, they had Ryan fill out all of the paperwork and consent forms (haha) and I was finally able to eat my sandwich (which was probably a pretty funny sight - Ryan sitting on the "couch" holding Wells with me sitting next to him, lounging semi-sideways and not super lady-like, scarfing a sandwich and smiling and laughing. It all just felt so normal!)

So, to break it down, my labor officially lasted 3 hours and 40 minutes from the time my water broke, but "active labor" was about 2 hours of that. And we only had about 30 minutes between walking through the hospital doors and holding a real live baby in our arms! I couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect labor and delivery!

Our first picture as a family of 4!!

God was undoubtedly an active participant throughout the births of both of my babies, but His presence this time was just different. I also put my faith in Him both times, but just in very different ways. God truly blessed me with my dream birth and even in my moments of doubt He carried me through. THIS is the God that I serve and who loves me and guides me as a father does. God proves to me over and over and OVER again that when I open my heart and truly give him full control (I'll say it again - FULL control people) and complete trust, he shows up in incredible (and often unbelievable) ways. Even if you think whatever it is that you're up against is impossible, I assure you that nothing is impossible with God. If you think you can't, I promise that with Him... you can.

Welcome to the world baby Wells!!! We are so glad to have you in our arms.



"Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness. In the same way, the Son of Man must be lifted up; then all those who believe in Him will experience everlasting life. For God expressed His love for the world in this way: He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not face everlasting destruction, but will have everlasting life. Here’s the point. God didn’t send His Son into the world to judge it; instead, He is here to rescue a world headed toward certain destruction." John 3:14-21

Wells' Birth Story - Part 1

"Natural childbirth is good, but God always has a better way of doing everything. Supernatural always exceeds natural in any area. And when we decide to do it His way, the results are amazing!" 
- Jackie Mize Supernatural Childbirth


This birth experience was vastly different from the birth of my first baby. It was truly a Supernatural Childbirth. What do I mean by "Supernatural Childbirth"? I mean having "faith in God's Word to bring about what man has declared impossible." I'm talking about a pain free (drug free) natural labor and delivery. Sounds like I'm pretty delusional, right? I'm sure you're thinking that I am surely making this up. But I can assure you. I'm not.

This experience was insanely spiritual and so intensely intimate between God and myself, that for the first time ever in the history of the world I am choosing NOT TO SHARE THE WHOLE STORY. Shocking, I know!! As a chronic over-sharer this is definitely way out of character for me. But let me explain myself. It's not because I feel like I shouldn't share how God worked through this experience and spared me from the pain of childbirth but quite the opposite. This birth was such an intimate experience between God and myself that I think those specific details should be reserved for a private conversation. Trust me. I KNOW that God led me through this experience to spread His glory. It's something that NEEDS to be talked about, I WANT to talk about and LOVE talking about!! I'm supposed to talk about it. It's NOT for me to keep private. So please note that a lot of the spiritual aspects of this birth story have been omitted - but there were SO there - and had they not been I know (without any doubt) that my physical experience would not have been what it was. 

That being said: If you are AT ALL curious about how God quite literally picked up my burden of a painful childbirth and placed it on his own back, I want to encourage you to ask! Please reach out in any way that you feel comfortable and let's have a conversation. Let's meet for coffee, or exchange some emails. Because it's quite important that I DO share ALL of the details. I know that's why He led me through this experience. 

Okay, let's get started shall we?? 

2:45ish p.m. - It was the afternoon of March 30, 2016. My due date. (Throughout the day, I noticed that I had been losing a lot more of the mucous plug.) Heidi and I had both just settled in for our afternoon nap after a fabulous morning playdate with a friend and her daughter. While I was sleeping, Ryan texted me that he would be working a little bit late, but was working hard to get home as soon as he could.

4:51 p.m. - I had just started waking up and heard Heidi making some noise in her crib when Ryan called me to say that he was on his way home. I had been wanting to take a few belly pictures (mostly to compare to some pictures I had taken when I was 9 months pregnant with Heidi and to some other pictures I had taken earlier in my pregnancy with Wells). So I decided to go ahead and take these now before going to get Heidi out of her crib. I grabbed a swimsuit and headed to our bathroom.

5:05 p.m. - I took the last belly picture, put my clothes back on and went to get Heidi up from her nap.

5:05 p.m. - 40 weeks pregnant, 10 minutes before my water broke!!

5:15 p.m. - I went into the kitchen and pulled a package of chicken out of the freezer to thaw in the sink for dinner. While I was standing in the kitchen filling the sink with hot water I suddenly felt a small (large?) gush! (I had been wearing maxi pads through almost my entire pregnancy and while this gush FELT like enough to saturate the entire pad it actually was not.) I was worried that I wouldn't make it to the bathroom without leaking all over the floor so I just held myself and rushed as fast as I was physically able to the bathroom, where I put on an adult diaper. (Shout out to Always Discreet adult diapers - those things do a fabulous job!! I would recommend these to any pregnant [or freshly post-partum running] mama! You can also click HERE for a free sample!) The second my water broke I was SO happy and just couldn't stop smiling!!

Labor with first baby lasted approx. 18 hours from the moment my water broke to the time she came out, so this time around I was guessing it would take me somewhere between 6-9 hours from start to finish. (Honestly, I was just praying that we could knock this thing out before midnight!) At this point, I was only a little uncomfortable and slightly crampy so I just went about my business... And since Ryan was driving home in traffic, I decided not to call him and tell him. I didn't want him to be panicking in traffic and plus how much MORE fun would it be to tell him in person?!

5:24 p.m. - While I was napping, I had missed a FaceTime call from my sister, so I tried calling her back, but she didn't answer so I just decided to text my mom and sister that this thing was about to go down. I then put on some headphones and listened to Nelly's "Heart of a Champion" to get myself pumped up (hehe). I was so excited that it was time to do this!! I made a little list of things we needed to do before we left for the hospital (empty the trash, throw a few things in the refrigerator away, etc.) then decided that I needed to vacuum the downstairs. (And in case anyone is wondering what my first child was doing during all of this... she was watching "Christmas show" aka "Elf" - her favorite!)

5:26 p.m. -  Priorities

5:29 p.m. - Drive faster Ryan!!

5:50 p.m. - Ryan finally got home!! Heidi and I opened up the back door and I asked how it was going... and then asked "Are you ready to finish packing our bags??" He said "Really?!" Then we hugged and both started crying.

6:08 p.m. - I called our doula. I told her not to rush or anything because I was still feeling pretty "normal" and contractions were hardly even time-able.

6:15 p.m. - I decided to shower and start getting ready, so I got into the shower and took off my pants and diaper and just stood there with no water running. This is when I can recall first feeling a true "start and stop" contraction - periods of discomfort and pressure broken up by feeling relatively "normal". I just kept standing there letting "stuff" trickle out of me. I also felt my water break a lot more as another larger gush happened. Next up to call was our birth photographer. I told her this thing was goin down, but since I wasn't really that uncomfortable we just left it at "We'll keep you updated!"

At this point, my water had been broken for just over an hour and I was starting to estimate that contractions were coming roughly every 10 minutes. Contractions this time felt much different than with my first labor. Much more in the front and a lot more of a tight menstrual feeling (with my first baby, I felt contractions SO strongly in my rectum and butt). I definitely felt a lot of pressure too, and it was uncomfortable... but not painful. With each contraction, I was SO focused on releasing my pelvic floor, concentrating on letting my body open up and visualizing my baby moving down and out of me. I think the first time you give birth, it's so natural to respond to contractions by tightening up, clenching your pelvic floor and trying to keep yourself from peeing or pooping!! I tried so hard this time to just release and open up. If pee needed to come out then by gosh I let it come out. (At one point, while just standing in the shower I asked Ryan to bring some paper towels and a trash can and to just give me a few minutes of privacy. I felt like there was a small chance that I might just squat and poop right there in the middle of the shower and if that needed to happen I didn't want to try and stop it! I just wanted everything to open up!)

I was so excited and so happy that I was finally in labor, that if someone had been watching me from a distance, you would have thought that I was actually enjoying these contractions - and to be honest - I WAS enjoying it (as much as one can I suppose). I was not screaming, but just letting out low moans and smiling (yes, smiling!) through each contraction. Swaying side to side with my legs a few feet apart...focusing, praying. I turned on one of my faves "Oh How I Need You" by All Sons & Daughters and put it on repeat.

While standing in the shower (pantsless), I was debating on whether it was worth it or not to actually turn on the water and shower at this point. I felt kind of gross (just that feeling of wanting to wash your hair mostly) but I know how messy labor is so I wasn't quite sure if it was worth my time to bathe. It took me so long to decide, that by now I had crap all over my legs (not actual crap but you know - JUNK) so I knew that I would need to shower if I was going to get into the car. So shower I did. As with my first time, showering relaxes me a little too much so it was kind of hard to tell what contractions were doing... maybe still around 10 minutes or so but not really sure. I also realized I was starting to get hungry (at this point it was dinner time!) and told Ryan that we should stop and pick up some sandwiches on our way to eat in the car (even though last time I just ended up throwing my last meal up I still felt like I needed to put something in my stomach before I was "not allowed to" at the hospital...who knows how long it would be until I could get some real food again!?)

6:54 p.m. - Finished up with my shower, put on another diaper and was about to start drying my hair. Ryan's mom had also come over to pick up Heidi at this point. VERY quickly both Ryan and I started to realize that things were suddenly happening really fast. (I think even Ryan's mom noticed from the other room how fast this was going based on how frequently the periods of humming and moaning were happening!) I also realized right around this time that there wasn't really going to be time for hair or makeup, so I just dried my scalp and slapped on a minimal amount makeup during what little time I had between contractions while Ryan was running around getting a few last minute things ready.

I felt like contractions were coming every 1-2 minutes, but thought that CERTAINLY I was mistaken. ("There's no way!") Honestly, I thought that I must have been confusing discomfort between contractions for actual contractions and that they weren't actually that close... well I was wrong, which I quickly learned. We started really rushing!

6:58 p.m. - In our group text, my mom, sister and I often communicate via picture instead of words, which is why this picture exists in the first place. "What's going on?!" This. Adult diaper. Sexy nursing bra. Ryan rushing to clean things up after I got out of the shower. 

7:14 p.m. - Heidi left with Ryan's mom. I had kind of built up this "last hug" I would have with her as my only baby, but I think my crying was scaring her so it ended up not being quite so climactic - which is probably a good thing because I would have cried like a frickin baby if she had been hanging on to me! Regardless, we had our goodbye hugs and kisses and then it was go time.

7:25 p.m. - The car was finally loaded up and we were ready to go. I started to walk outside to the car but felt another contraction coming on and quickly turned back around, telling Ryan "I gotta get back inside, I gotta get back inside"... because I could hear our neighbors outside and didn't want them to hear me moaning loudly in our backyard (I'm sure that would have been... suspicious...haha). Once that contraction passed I quickly headed outside to the car, wanting to make it in there before the next contraction. A few minutes prior to this I knew that I was past the point of being able to ride sitting in the passenger seat, so I had told Ryan that I wanted to ride in the BACK of the car (meaning the trunk - we have a small SUV) but he took that to mean the back SEAT. So once we got outside he opened up the trunk to throw a few last minute things in and it was packed with bags and the car seats he had hurriedly ripped out from the back seat. NOOOO!! I didn't want to be confined... but oh well. At this point it was definitely too late to move things around, so into the back seat I climbed. I had my knees on the floor and was bent over the seat - with my elbows supporting my torso. (After I had maneuvered myself into the back seat, our neighbor poked his head over the fence and asked Ryan "When's that baby coming??" to which Ryan responded "Right this minute!!!") And off we went...!

Read Part 2 of Wells' Birth Story HERE!

Month 1 - Wells

Month 1: Baby!

Age: 1 month

Weight: 11 lbs. (I've never been one to brag about the size of my babies because every baby is so different - BUT I will say that our pediatrician could almost not believe how much weight he had gained after only 1 week. "Superhuman" she said... his line on the projection chart was almost completely vertical - he's blowing the projection lines out of the water. Yikes! Grow baby grow! Actually wait no, stay little forever please.)

Major calendar events: Meeting Aunt Em and Nana; Daddy's birthday

Milestones: He's pretty good at balancing his head but still a little spazzy... he has also had a few smiles but at this point I'm not sure if they are actually in response to anything or just random.

Sleep: Sleeping great! He can go to sleep on his own fairly easily and will typically wake up twice between 10:00 p.m. and 7:00 a.m. (We have had a FEW nights of only waking up once so hopefully we are close to that being the norm for a bit - I feel like a new woman when I only have to get up once in the middle of the night as opposed to twice!)

Likes: Eating, sleeping and being snuggled!

Dislikes: Having a wet/dirty diaper!! (Heidi NEVER complained about needing a diaper change so this is new for us! Literally 90% of the time that Wells is fussing - it's because he wants his diaper changed!) He also isn't super into bathtime yet... but usually we bathe him before he's supposed to eat so perhaps he's just mad about being hungry!

Best moment: "At this point I would say him being born was pretty clutch" -Ryan when I asked him what Wells' best moment so far has been...

Worst moment: Super long story... but we had to go through the same goat rope with Wells as we did with Heidi - we were allowed to be discharged after night 2 in the hospital, but because his bilirubin levels were high we were required to make a follow up appointment with our pedi to have that checked the following day... unfortunately for us that next day was a Saturday. We spent the WHOLE morning running around between the pediatrician's office and getting the runaround at the hospital... hours and hours of no one knowing where we were supposed to go or who would do the test... we finally ended up in the right place but the phlebotomist had a tough time with her first stick - poor Wells screamed and screamed for 10+ minutes as she rubbed and squeezed his poor little foot and heel trying to get more blood to come out. (After about 2 minutes I kept thinking "just restick him already!" but I think she was trying to avoid another stick... seemed like the easier less-painful option for all parties involved...) Eventually she did stick his other heel and finally got enough blood for the test. My poor baby had some beat up heels for his first few days of life. It was tough to watch but being a mom toughens you up pretty quick, so I held it together and just did my best to comfort him. (If the sticks had been that traumatic with Heidi I would have REALLY lost it. With her I was already crying because I was looking at her feet and thinking about how they had been inside of me kicking my belly just a few days beforehand.)

Eating: Nursing every 2-2.5 hours... I have tried SO hard to get this guy to go 3 hours between feedings but, DANG he is one hungry dude! He is much more efficient than Heidi was though - he typically only nurses for 10-15 minutes TOTAL, whereas she would take 30+ minutes. The biggest struggle we have had so far is that it's tough for him to keep up with the flow. I literally have enough milk for 6 children and my letdown is fast, so he usually ends up choking and gagging if it's been longer than 2ish hours since he ended the previous feeding. As Ryan says, "it's like drinking from a fire hydrant" at this point... so hopefully between things leveling off naturally on their own AND Wells getting a little bigger and able to handle that much milk this will improve over time. Until then... I will continue to go hang my boobs over a sink and let them spray milk out on their own for a few minutes before letting Wells have a go ;). 

Things I want to remember: I have forgotten about all of the little whimpers, gasps, heavy breathing/panting and other little noises that newborns make. I love those! I also want to remember Wells' first latch after he was born (see below!)

OTHER: So I wasn't sure if I wanted to publicize anything about this BUT the experience was so positive and I feel like I would have liked to know this information beforehand myself so I'll go ahead and talk about it...(Wells-maybe when you're a little older I'll remove this for your own sake...) CIRCUMCISION. Yes, let's go there. (Or as a friend once referred to it: "getting his pencil sharpened" - hah!) The decision to circumcise was not really one that we needed to debate in our house - Ryan and I were both on board with the decision to do it from the beginning for many reasons (which I am happy to discuss privately if you're curious). The procedure was done in the hospital the day after Wells was born. A doctor came in to our room and explained the procedure, how long it would take, etc. (Takes about 10 minutes, but they keep the baby for roughly 2 hours total.) The method used at our hospital was called the "plastibell method" (HEADS UP: this Wikipedia link does include 2 non-graphic photos.) Essentially, baby comes back after the procedure with a little clear plastic ring on which will fall off within a week or so. Many other moms/parents had scared us about the "recovery" from the procedure, saying that baby boy would end up screaming his head off every time he had a wet diaper, that we would need to use tons and tons of vaseline and that he would be in a lot of pain. But I have to say, this method was FABULOUS. Almost no follow up care is needed (aka no vaseline, cream, pain medication etc.) and Wells NEVER acted as though he was in any pain at all. You would honestly have never known that he even had it done!! If you ever find yourself in this situation and you have a choice as to which method is used - I HIGHLY recommend the plastibell method. Although, we have never experienced other methods, at this point I feel that this is the best/easiest/least painful one for baby AND mom and dad! 

Month 1: Mama

First of all, I think it is very important that I reshare what my post-partum experience was like after having my first baby (read about it HERE). Knowing what I know now and looking back at what sort of mental state I was in then...I do believe that I had some degree of post-partum depression, even though it lasted "only" 8-ish weeks. I never put myself into that category because I didn't fall under the 3 symptoms that I was told to look for... but I truly was hardly able to function or care for myself. It's important for me personally to never forget about that experience and I also think it's crucial that I continue to always share and talk about that time for other mamas. It was intense and extremely isolating. 

That being said... my post-partum experience this time with Wells has been an absolute dream! Recovery has been so easy and the hormone crashes have been minimal. I have been extremely functional! Even while I was in the hospital I was in almost no pain. (Nurses always find it so strange that I didn't want any medication for the pain during the days following... but why would I take something if I wasn't hurting?? Is everyone in extreme pain? Does everyone take pain meds regardless? I am curious!) 

What DID hurt like heck was the uterine contractions that would occur every time I nursed. The hormones released when you breastfeed help the uterus to contract and "go back" to it's former size, but with each pregnancy (allegedly) this gets more and more painful, as your uterus gets less "toned". Within about 30 seconds of Wells latching, I would get what felt like INTENSE menstrual cramps that would last for a few minutes. Oh my gosh it felt so gross and hurt pretty bad (honestly, worse than my labor!) I did try taking Motrin at one point to manage that pain, but I didn't feel like it helped enough to continue with it. That cramping finally stopped about a week or so later. 

Other than the cramping, I would say my pain level was probably at a 1 or a 2 - just mildly sore. I walked myself out of the hospital, arms loaded down with bags and gifts.

Time to go home!

As we were driving home, I remember telling Ryan how normal I felt (physically AND emotionally)... I felt ALARMINGLY normal... so normal that I was concerned that it was all going to come crashing down on me... and HARD. Luckily, it never did (at least not at this point anyway). The first few weeks, I would get weepy and a little overwhelmed in the evenings, mostly just when I was tired and hungry...and there were still a few times where I would just cry for no real reason...but it all has been extremely manageable up until this point. I think it is also a little draining going from one extreme to the other so many times in one day - I go from "I can TOTALLY do this whole 2-kid-thing!" to "There is NO WAY I am going to be able to handle having 2 kids!" about 600 times per day. It's exhausting. But the more time that goes by the less frequently I fluctuate and the less time I spend in the "there's no way" zone... although I don't think anyone ever totally stops feeling like they sometimes just can't handle 2 kids (until there's 3 haha!) 

I also want to talk a little bit about breastfeeding. Some history on this... prior to having my first baby, I was very apprehensive about breastfeeding and quite honestly I felt a little weird about it (click here for more on that). Then, after sticking it out for a full year, I posted a follow up post about my experience and how my thoughts had changed. After breastfeeding for a year, I knew I would miss that special time I got to spend with my girl, but I was pretty excited to not be responsible for growing OR nourishing another human (at least for a few months anyway HEHE). I don't really recall Heidi's first latch (nor did I even care at the time) and all I can remember about our first few weeks/months was just how painful it was and what a leaky mess I was. 

Going into it this time, I knew it would already be a little bit easier just because I would already know what I was doing. (I was also hoping that I wouldn't leak quite as much as I did the first time...and wasn't sure if it would be as painful or not.) Although, I was not dreading breastfeeding again or anything,  I definitely wouldn't go quite as far as to say that I was actually looking forward to it or super excited about doing it again. HOWEVER...  the second I felt his gentle tugging I immediately fell in love with breastfeeding! I never ever EVER in a million years thought that I would be someone who would love the actual act of nursing my babies. (In fact, I used to want to smack people like that!) Our birth photographer was able to stick around for a while after Wells' arrival so I made sure to cue her when I was ready to nurse him for the first time. I'm so excited that we got pictures of his first latch. When my milk finally came in a few days later I was even more excited. I was constantly calling Ryan over to come look at the ring of excess milk leaking out between Wells' lips and my boob as he gulped it down. Seeing this brought me an amazing amount of comfort - just knowing that he was getting the best kind of nourishment that he needed from me (and PLENTY of it!) and that made me so happy. This second go round with breastfeeding has been vastly different (emotionally) and I am completely infatuated with the experience. I did experience SOME pain the first few days of breastfeeding, but nothing compared to what it's like the first time (your nipples hurt SO bad!!) I also think that having kids so close together helps with this - when I started breastfeeding Wells, it hadn't even been a year since I had stopped nursing Heidi. 

I used to think that people who just came home with a baby and lived happily ever after were lying... but I  have learned this time that with the Lord it is possible. The preparations that we made spiritually for labor and delivery have certainly carried over into postpartum and He has truly provided for us - not only emotionally but also physically as well. At 4 weeks postpartum, my body almost looks like Wells never happened (even in the "downstairs" area if you know what I mean!!) I never in a million years dreamed I would be leaving the house to go grocery shopping 5 days post-partum. I never thought I would be this functional this quickly after having a baby. I never pictured myself  running errands and taking 2 kids out in public together just weeks after coming home from the hospital. My body has sprung back like I never dreamed it could after having a second baby and I know that this is the Lord proving to me that he truly reigns over ALL - not just some things but literally EVERYTHING. This experience (including labor and deliver - which I am excited to share soon!) has brought new meaning and given me an entirely different understanding of "ask and it shall be given unto you". He deserves all of the credit and I am so SO grateful for all of his blessings. I serve an incredible, loving and merciful God and He is good. 

"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you." Matthew 7:7

(P.S. - I will discuss how Heidi has adjusted this first month in a future post!)

Here are a few pictures from our first month with this cutie!

Heidi LOVES her brother!!

First family walk!

Love that hair!!!

Meeting "Uncle" Chris!

I love sleep smiles :).

First bath!
(Also - you can see that Wells has a hematoma on his head [his left, our right]. This is a pocket of blood between the skin and the skull. It will partially get re-absorbed and the remainder will calcify. Eventually, his skull will catch up to whatever portion ends up calcifying. But this hematoma makes his head look very misshapen - it's not a conehead!)

All clean!

Taking some sibling pictures... Heidi loves to copy whatever Wells is doing (which is awesome when he's crying. Not.)

Napping on Aunt Emily.

The best.

Double decker nap time! (Trying to get Heidi down for a nap and Wells just couldn't stand not being held!)

Going on a walk.

Wells still got his own bluebonnet picture in this season after we found this tiny patch still left!

Wells' first baseball game! Go owls!

Heart exploding.