7:27 p.m. - Just after we left the house, Ryan kept asking "Are you SURE you want me to stop at Jimmy Johns?! Are you sure?!" (It's literally 2 minutes from our house.) I said "Yes, because even if I can't eat it now then I can have something to eat afterwards!" (For some reason, there was still a part of me that thought I would be able to scarf it down as I was crunched over the back seat...HAHA.) So we stopped at Jimmy Johns. (Funny story... we've been to this JJs a thousand times and literally every time they are handing us our sandwiches as we are handing them our payment - they are SO fast! So, Ryan goes in, orders, pays and then the guy says "Oooohhh I JUST took the bread out of the oven, so it's going to be about 10-15 minutes is that okay??" Ryan responded "ANY other day this would not be a problem... I promise I am not making this up but my wife is in labor in the car!" Then the guy asked Ryan if it was okay to use their "day old bread" to which Ryan said "YES YES THAT'S FINE!!")
7:33 p.m. - While Ryan was inside Jimmy John's (I think? This car part is a little bit of a blur for me) I texted my doula, photographer and uncle "Headed to the hospital. Contractions are super close." My photographer (who also happens to live on our side of town - about 35ish minutes from the hospital) responded with "Should head over too? I think I should..." (Typically she waits until her clients are checked at the hospital and 5-6cm dilated before making her way there, but since I had been dilated 3-4cm for several weeks already we had previously discussed the possibility of her coming a little earlier in case things go quickly.) I can remember that I considered telling her to wait until we got a little closer to the hospital, at least so she would be a few minutes behind us... but finally I just pulled the trigger and responded with "Yes." I was officially past the point of being able to have any sort of conversation or think about anything BUT bringing a sweet babe into the world!! I then turned on my phone's bluetooth so I could control what we were listening to and put Colton Dixon's "You Are" on repeat and we listened to it the whole way there. (This is a song that God has used to reveal himself intensely to me in the past...)
When I first got into the backseat, I was worried that because I didn't have a choice of what position I was laboring in that things would become painful. But once we got going, I was able to refocus my mind on the Lord and get back into the zone. I realized that my contractions were still not painful and thought maybe it was because my knees were together, legs closed and my pelvis was not able to keep opening up. So, I spread my legs as wide as I had space for and still... no pain. It was actually a relatively quiet car ride. In a lot of ways, I felt like that drive took forever...I remember (not being able to actually ASK where we were) pulling up google maps on my phone... we were at Beltway 8 and I-45 (for those that don't live in Houston that's still 15-20 minutes away from the hospital)... but then suddenly I saw the concrete on the side of the overpass after we exited and were about to U-turn to get to the hospital entrance. "We're here!! We're here!!" I was thinking. Then suddenly the car ride didn't feel so long.
8:15 p.m. - Ryan pulled up to the entrance to drop me off... AS our photographer was walking up. What luck!! (Also, SOO glad that she left when she did!!) I got out of the car and leaned up against the brick wall outside while Ryan parked the car. Pretty much immediately after I stood up contractions were ON TOP of each other. I had almost no time between them, but I continued to "ride the waves" as they say and still felt like I was able to stay in front of them. I leaned and swayed and moaned and hummed until Ryan returned and the 3 of us walked inside. As Ryan went up to check in at the visitors desk, I just headed straight for the corner behind the desk. (At this point, I was not really consciously thinking about what I was doing - just doing whatever my instinct was telling me I needed to do!) I just stood in the corner facing the wall and Ryan started to fill out the visitors nametag info. The lady working at the front desk realized what was going on, so she stopped him after he wrote in his name (they want you to write more info down than that usually) and told us to just go ahead and go back to check in at the L&D nurses station.
8:24 p.m. - It took us a few minutes to get back to the nurses station because I had to stop walking with each contraction. I could tell that once we got back there, the nurses weren't really taking us seriously... at least at first. I'm sure they just thought I was a first time mom being dramatic about how much "pain" I was in or something like that... but then once they asked "Is this your first?" and we told them it was my second... I could tell then that the vibe changed. "Oh...." It clicked. I then said "I think I'm going to start leaking onto the floor" (It felt like my adult diaper had reached its max and I felt a LOT of fluid rushing out of me - but luckily it hadn't.) They seemed concerned about me making a mess (really??)... so one older grandma nurse said "Okay, well let me go get a wheelchair". "NO" I said. "I have to walk". She looked offended, like I had just told her that her grandkids were ugly or something, but I really don't think that anyone understood that there was NO way I was going to be able to sit at this point. They told us we were going to go ahead and just skip triage (thank GOODNESS) and head straight to our L&D room... which just so happened to be the EXACT same room that I delivered Heidi in!!
8:35 p.m. - We got into our L&D room where we met our AWESOME nurse! I loved her. At this point there was a lot of chaos - our nurse had to call for a lot of backup because there weren't enough nurses readily available. She was quickly trying to tear open all of the packaging for the supplies needed and get everything ready. I actually REALLY appreciated that everyone was busy trying to get everything ready instead of focusing on me - I could just stand there and do my thing and be left alone! I was standing with the bathroom door open clutching one doorknob in each hand and was quite comfortable laboring there. Once or twice, someone told me I needed to put on the hospital gown hanging on the bathroom door, but I had NO time between contractions to do so. I just kept standing there (thinking maybe eventually I would put it on). It started to feel really good to push a little bit. Not a lot, but just enough to feel relief against the pressure of the contractions. I probably wasn't pushing TOO much harder than when you have a tickle in your throat but you're trying to hold it in? Almost like that, but with grunting sounds.
At this point, the head nurse (charge nurse?) whoever... came in, looked at me and said - in THE most condescending, sassy, judgy voice - "Have you ever worn a hospital gown before?" "Have you ever given birth 'this way' before?" (WHAT?! ARE YOU JOKING ME LADY?!) "Well, now that you're here this baby is OUR responsibility. There are certain things that need to happen, paperwork that needs to be filled out etc. etc."...
Okay FIRST of all lady - you have NO idea how many hospital gowns I have worn in my life. More than I can count on 2 hands. SO DON'T EVEN. Secondly.... this is my body, MY baby and OUR birth experience so yes you do have some "responsibility" but this is MY thing right now - not yours. I chose to be here. And YES I have done this "this way" before thank you very much.
I shot a look of DEATH to Ryan and I know that he knew exactly what I was thinking "IF THIS LADY DOESN'T GET OUT OF MY ROOM RIGHT NOW..." I was RIGHT on the edge of totally flipping my $#!* on her and if she had stayed in there a moment longer, I would have really lost it... and honestly I would have told her that I have ZERO problems turning my butt around and delivering this baby in the woods behind the hospital because I was not about to have someone with that attitude around me and talking to me that way. (Actually, giving birth in the woods sounds pretty cool anyway! TRY ME lady!)
via GIPHY
^^^Me: "OH HELL NO LADY!"
After 2 VERY positive natural hospital birth experiences this was the ONLY person who I have ever come across that made me never want to give birth in a hospital again - someone who us natural birth mamas hope we never encounter. I was very surprised at how unsupportive she seemed.
Luckily, (after very sassily telling me "we really need you to put this gown on" a few more times) she left. Once she was gone, I was finally able to remove my clothing, put on the hospital gown and lay down on the bed where I was hooked up to the belly monitors.
8:45 p.m. - This was the only time where I felt as though the contractions were getting ahead of me, like I was starting to lose control a little bit. I looked up at Ryan and told him that I felt like I couldn't quite get in front of the contractions. The nurse came over to check me and as soon as a contraction had passed I gave her the go ahead to check. She said I was basically complete, 9/10cm and mostly effaced. (At this point, I also asked if there was a doctor IN the hospital. To my relief - the answer was yes! She was in a c-section. I had already decided that I was NEVER going to hold a baby in again. If I felt the urge to push, I'm pushing this baby out and whoever wants to catch him can do it.) Once the nurse told me that I was pretty much "there", I think that was enough motivation/encouragement for me to stay in the zone and get "back in front of" the contractions. (This is hard to really put into words what that exactly means... so, sorry if that doesn't totally make sense.) I continued to "kind of" push with each contraction because it felt good - not necessarily because I felt like I absolutely had to.
My nurse asked me if I wanted her to put in an IV. I considered it and asked her "How good are you at it?!" (because I somehow always end up getting someone who puts it in wrong) but then as another contraction came on I told her to just forget it.
Just a few minutes after this I was rechecked and told it was time! The doctor came in and I really felt like I was too "aware" for it to actually be time to do this! With my first baby, I had been in labor for SO long, and had been "holding her in" (aka laying on my side and pushing HARD) that I was in this TOTALLY different world, so exhausted and instinct had taken over my entire being. This time, I was thinking "There's no way it's actually time to do this!"
8:54(ish) p.m. - Stirrups were pulled out, Ryan was instructed to hold a leg (something he wasn't doing the first time! So he got to see EVEN MORE this time HEHE - "splash zone" as he calls it) and as the next contraction came I was told to push. I was SO conscious of truly FEELING this baby come out. This part was painful, but it really was not unbearable or unmanageable. (Pushing is just so great and feels "good" in so many ways!)
This was the only time during my whole labor that there was any screaming. You're not supposed to scream during pushing because it let's the air out of your lungs. So I just let out a few little high pitched "bursts" of screams (and only one curse word!), so I could keep as much air in and apply as much force as I could. The most memorable "pain" that I recall feeling was just a burning on the "top". I don't remember feeling this burning during Heidi's birth (maybe because she spent almost 2 hours going in and out of the birth canal?) even though it was painful with her.
I felt as though the first contraction had ended but was told to keep pushing. Maybe 1-2 more pushes and then I took a quick break. The next contraction came a few seconds later and I started pushing again. That feeling of getting the head out is indescribable. Once the head was out I knew we were pretty much done. Another 2 pushes or so later and...
8:56 p.m. - Out came my baby!! I can remember almost not believing that he was already here. I said multiple times, "That was too easy!" (Something that I had been thinking the whole time but didn't want to say out loud until he was ACTUALLY all the way here!) After delivering Heidi, I can remember thinking... "that was fun but let's maybe not do this again for a while". This time, I said "I could do that 50 more times!!" It was absolutely blissful - the best word I can think of to describe it.
This time around we were able to delay cord clamping for a few minutes (until it stopped pulsating) to give baby a little bit more blood and also have skin-to-skin for almost a FULL HOUR before he was removed from my chest and cleaned up.
Now I realize that this part sounds totally and completely disgusting, but when it's your own baby...it's just different. The "vernix" (aka the cheesy-ness) was AMAZING. (And Wells was SUUUPER cheesy - way more than Heidi was!) I LOVED having his cheesy body on mine for so long before anyone else even touched him.
With Heidi, we had a few moments of skin to skin but the nurses were also wiping her down pretty vigorously at the same time right after she came out. So even though she wasn't totally "cleaned up" she was still a little cleaned off. With Wells, no one touched him. I loved the way it went down with Heidi, and I wasn't bothered by the fact that she was wiped down... but to hold Wells, all warm, squishy, slimy, bloody, cheesy... on my own body for a full HOUR was BEYOND incredible. I KNOW it sounds SO gross but when it's your own baby it's just so beautiful. I loved it and in the future, I will always request to have my baby on my chest, untouched, for as long as possible. (I was actually a little sad when I saw them bathing him and washing all of the vernix off of him... something I NEVER in a million years thought I would feel! I was thinking "It's being washed off forever and never coming back!")
There was no time for an episiotomy this time, so I did tear (you usually tear over your old scar tissue anyway) so the doctor began stitching me up as I was enjoying my precious slimy baby. However, I was feeling WAY too much of the stitches and requested multiple times for more lidocaine! Not sure if I ever got more because I still felt every stitch and this took my attention briefly off of Wells because I had to deal with that pain.
Once the doctor was done stitching me up we had some alone time with baby (and I let him nurse for the first time - and my photographer got pictures of that first latch! I didn't realize that I had actually missed breastfeeding...) Then our family members were allowed to come back to meet our precious baby boy. Once all of our guests had left, they had Ryan fill out all of the paperwork and consent forms (haha) and I was finally able to eat my sandwich (which was probably a pretty funny sight - Ryan sitting on the "couch" holding Wells with me sitting next to him, lounging semi-sideways and not super lady-like, scarfing a sandwich and smiling and laughing. It all just felt so normal!)
So, to break it down, my labor officially lasted 3 hours and 40 minutes from the time my water broke, but "active labor" was about 2 hours of that. And we only had about 30 minutes between walking through the hospital doors and holding a real live baby in our arms! I couldn't have dreamed of a more perfect labor and delivery!
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| Our first picture as a family of 4!! |
God was undoubtedly an active participant throughout the births of both of my babies, but His presence this time was just different. I also put my faith in Him both times, but just in very different ways. God truly blessed me with my dream birth and even in my moments of doubt He carried me through. THIS is the God that I serve and who loves me and guides me as a father does. God proves to me over and over and OVER again that when I open my heart and truly give him full control (I'll say it again - FULL control people) and complete trust, he shows up in incredible (and often unbelievable) ways. Even if you think whatever it is that you're up against is impossible, I assure you that nothing is impossible with God. If you think you can't, I promise that with Him... you can.
Welcome to the world baby Wells!!! We are so glad to have you in our arms.
"Moses lifted up the serpent in the wilderness. In the same way, the Son of Man must be lifted up; then all those who believe in Him will experience everlasting life. For God expressed His love for the world in this way: He gave His only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not face everlasting destruction, but will have everlasting life. Here’s the point. God didn’t send His Son into the world to judge it; instead, He is here to rescue a world headed toward certain destruction." John 3:14-21
Awesome! I know I heard it in person, but this was just so beautiful to read the whole experience play by play!!
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