Tuesday, April 14, 2009

April Showers....

There's always something about the month of April.... something that affects me on the inside in a different way than any other time of year does. Maybe it's something inside of me telling me that I should be thinking about the future, bracing myself, somehow preparing for all of the many changes that come with the end of the school year. Or maybe it's my subconscious, trying desperately to tighten it's grip on the way things are right now, pushing thoughts of the future out of my head and refusing to think of life at Baylor being any different than they are now. Or maybe its both. It happens every year.

But there's something else. There's something else this year that has left me thinking. Searching. At this point in life, things will be changing more drastically and rapidly than ever before and not just for me but for everyone at this age. Whether it's that...or maybe something bigger...something has left me feeling incomplete. This April is showing me that there is something else that I am thirsty for.


The thought of people being capable of knowing so much about me, to see so much of me, by simply clicking on a link at first caused me to hesitate to create this. Not by talking to me face to face, but by simply clicking on a link you have the ability to "know" me. But that is not why I created this blog. (After some persuasion from a friend...) this is merely an outlet, an emotional discharge, a release. To help me see things from a totally different perspective, to take a minute each day to find peace, joy and beauty in what is around me. Whether or not anyone else reads this has nothing to do with it. Quenching my thirst means learning how to depend on God alone. No one else. Just Him. I know that's what I have to figure out how to do....I just don't know how to do it yet.

But isn't figuring it out 90% of it anyway?

2 comments:

  1. this is soo good! you are a great writer and an even more inspiring person :)

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  2. ohhh hey :) i like this post - it's exactly what my friends and i talk about ALL the time.

    miss you.

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