The Pregnancy/Birth/Postpartum Connection

This post might not really "do" much for very many people out there. This one's mostly just for me - as a way of organizing what's in my brain and dumping my thoughts out. BUT I do think there is some importance in not just keeping this to myself, because if it helps one person out there - then of course it's worth it to throw it out there. Even if postpartum depression is completely nonexistent in someone else's journey, there is always a postpartum experience. I do believe that there is value in recognizing how connected all of these experiences are to each other (regardless of whether the postpartum experience is positive or negative). For me personally, it just took actually going through postpartum depression (and all of these other things) to actually realize this. Postpartum depression aside, maybe this will help someone else out there understand and honor these connections (and how they can possibly affect the postpartum experience) - whether on their own journey or someone they are close to.

I have always viewed pregnancy, labor & delivery and postpartum as very separate events. Sure these experiences all have to do with bringing a new baby into the world, but up until recently, I have seen each as a "phase", completely independent and separate from the others. When one chapter ended, the next began, unrelated (for the most part) to the one before or after it. By allowing my eyes to be opened to just how intricately woven together all of these experiences are, I have a much better understanding of my own journey and how all of these "phases" led me down the path towards postpartum depression.

Postpartum depression is very different for everyone. I do believe that for some women is it 100% hormonal, and that there is no getting around it. Medication is necessary and helpful and the only solution. I am confident that hormones did play somewhat of a role in my own postpartum depression, but I think it went SO much deeper than that for me. Let me attempt to sum this up very briefly (feel free to click the links if you are interested in learning more):

Pregnancy - My pregnancy experience was different the third time. I love being pregnant and it seemed that I could hardly get to the point of even just feeling like I was pregnant, let alone focus on or enjoy the experience. I was very sick (colds, the flu multiple times, infections, etc.) and so were my babies! We were in a VERY very hard season of life - which had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that I was pregnant at the time. I felt minimally supported during pregnancy - medically, hormonally/emotionally and personally. Every time I thought I was going to be able to reach a point where I could focus and rest and things would get "easier" life would only get harder.

Birth - My birth experience was also very different. This was my first birth without a doula present. The first birth that I was wheeled into recovery feeling ZERO sense of empowerment. I felt minimally supported by hospital staff. Even though my husband's presence and involvement was undeniably and insanely awesome, I still felt very alone. Unheard. There was no one creating that space for me to do my thing. The birth didn't go "how I wanted it to" - even though it totally DID on paper, it didn't FEEL that way - and that's important. (But I also realize that's a totally loaded statement when we're talking about birth experiences as we don't REALLY have "control" over them per say). Every. single. woman. should leave her birth experience feeling nothing but powerful, heard and strong - and I believe that goes for ANY "type" of birth. I had a freaking natural hospital birth with zero meds, delivered a 9 lb. 3 oz. baby vaginally, my husband caught her and I still felt like the smallest person on the planet. What the actual F***?! It felt like such a let down. (Again, not saying that a natural birth is what is required for me to feel heard and empowered - obviously - because that's what I did and still felt deflated.)

Community/support -  This was also very different the third time around. Almost ALL of my closest friends had moved away. Plus, naturally, the more babies you have the less that people care (tragically. This is quite opposite of how it SHOULD be - but I get it.) We didn't really have any support systems in place anywhere, (no church community, no neighborhood community, no other groups we were apart of, only a few friends) so this was definitely one of the more isolating postpartum experiences that I have had.

All of this being said, I believe this equation to be true (in my case) when it comes to all three of my postpartum experiences:


Pregnancy Experience + Birth Experience + Community Strength/Support = Postpartum experience


For me, there is a direct correlation between all 4 of these "dynamics" if you will. The postpartum experience is DEEPLY rooted in the combination/level of enjoyment/satisfaction during these other experiences - however they are also not necessarily mutually exclusive from each other either. They are intricately woven together. Having a strong community/support system can directly affect the birth experience and even the pregnancy experience in my opinion. I think this "formula" is actually the simplified version of what I believe this truly looks like, which is more of a spider web looking flow chart.

I have actually come up with a mathematical equation and scale to represent these factors, but I'm not sure I'm quite ready to share it yet - mostly because I'm just a random person and no professional in any way, shape or form. (But I'm kind of tempted to do a little study to see how accurate I am!) And OBVIOUSLY this doesn't take into account any physiological aspects either - aka hormones.

Anyway, I do believe that for myself being conscious of the correlation between ALL of these experiences and being aware of just how connected these things all TRULY are will help me moving forward - whether it be in my own future journeys or by helping me to better serve other expecting mamas in my life! Maybe it will do the same for you.

Thanks for sticking with me :)

Sarah McKenzie Photography