Know Someone Who is Pregnant?

Pregnancy brings a lot of feelings and emotions, not to mention the hormones don't make things easier.  Often, pregnancy can make a girl feel like everything is spinning out of control.  Her body is changing, her emotions are changing, her relationships with those around her are changing... every aspect of life is changing.  I frequently feel like I am not a normal human being anymore - physically, emotionally, etc... (I forget that I haven't always been pregnant, nor will I be pregnant forever!)

Outside of pregnancy, I don't consider myself to be a sensitive or "emotional" girl.  It has been a struggle for me getting used to dealing with the increased emotions that come along with being pregnant.  I think what I have struggled with the most (emotionally) so far is people making me feel guilty (whether intentionally or unintentionally) about the things that are 100% out of my control.  Ouch.  If you have a pregnant friend and are wondering how you can be there for her, here are some tips on how you can lift her up and help her still feel somewhat like a normal human being...

1.  Never use the phrase "She's just upset because she's pregnant."  Yes, it is true that pregnancy... magnifies emotions in a very extreme way.  But if your pregnant friend is upset about something, her feelings ARE actually hurt.  Just because the emotions that she is feeling (whether good or bad) are more extreme than her norm, they are very real, especially to her.  (If I react to a broken glass like I just found out my dog got hit by a car and the world is going to end tomorrow... that is ACTUALLY how I am feeling.)

2.  Don't tell your pregnant friend that you are excited to see them "get fat".  Even if you feel that way... don't say it to her face.  Maybe replace it with.... "You're going to look so cute with a baby bump!"  or "I can't wait to see your cute tummy!"  That's probably more appropriate and less likely to hurt your girlfriend's feelings.

3.  Avoid telling your pregnant friend that you don't like being around her when she is pregnant.  Again, that's not something that she has ANY control over whatsoever and is obviously not able to change.  She already feels alienated enough, and chances are she isn't trying to be less enjoyable to be around.  This is an extremely rude thing to say.  Just keep this one to yourself.

4.  "I hope the baby comes on this day because I have/someone else has ________ going on the week before that/the week after."  This is DEFINITELY something that cannot be controlled, and making your pregnant friend feel guilty for having an "inconvenient" due date is definitely not okay and extremely hurtful.

5.  Don't say things to your pregnant friend that may make her feel alienated or lonely all together.  There are already plenty of things that she cannot do/eat/participate in, so avoid making her feel left out just because those around her aren't going through the same things that she is.

6.  DO check up on Dad.  His whole life is probably entirely focused on his pregnant lady and unborn child. Dads need love too :)

Everyone loves feeling special.  But when you are pregnant, the tiniest things go SUCH a long way.  Even just a simple message saying "Hey thinking about you!" means the absolute world.  Don't make your pregnant friend feel like she is forgotten about.  DO check up on her every once in a while (she probably misses you!)  Don't criticize her about her baby-related choices.  DO offer your support, even if you think she is being ridiculous.  Don't be afraid to tell her how cute she looks (even if she actually looks like a cow).  DO touch her belly (if she's okay with it :))

So if you find yourself around a pregnant lady and are wondering how you can support her during this time, basically it comes down to this:  Do what you can to make your pregnant friend(s) feel good about herself.  Don't forget about her (and dad).  And DO be intentional about what you say (or don't say) to a pregnant lady.  She is already going through so much in more ways than you can imagine and will need you even after her tiny human arrives.


***These are just a few thoughts from my own experience so far, but I would love to hear from other moms who have already been through this experience.  What advice do you have for those people close to pregnant women?  What was helpful for you? How did those around you offer their support? (I also want to use this experience to learn how I can support my pregnant friends in the future!)