Monday, July 20, 2015

Weaning

After breastfeeding for a full year, weaning can seem like quite a daunting and overwhelming task. Not only does it take work on mom and dad's part, but it also depends on how baby takes it as well! I wanted to share my experience with weaning, because until Heidi WAS totally weaned I had no idea how it was going to go! Around 6 months, Heidi started showing interest in what Ryan and I were eating. After getting approval from our doctor, we started letting her taste things off of our plates. (We were not making anything separate for her at that point.) Following her 9 month doctor appointment, we started mashing up bananas, steaming sweet potatoes and making other mushy things for her. By the time Heidi was 10 months old, we were giving her 3 “meals” per day, although at that point I was not concerned with quantities or calories or any of that stuff, we were just letting her try things. (Maybe a few bites of mashed up liquified banana with breakfast, or some mushed up squash [which she hated] at dinner, etc.) Plus at that time she was still nursing 4 times per day as well! Around 11 months, the “meals” turned into more of actual meals and less like just snacks. (So maybe, some very small steamed chunks of sweet potato with some cheerios and cut up mandarin orange slices, for example.) About this same time (11 months), I started the process of cutting out nursing sessions. Initially, I tried to cut the afternoon feeding out first, however that made for a VERY difficult evening/dinner time. By the time Ryan got home from work she was a mess. It was rough! So after just a few days of that, I decided to cut the lunch time feeding instead. It was much easier to cut this feeding because it was replaced with a "meal". (So I was still nursing in the morning before breakfast, once in the late afternoon and then night time right before bed, but hadn’t introduced cow’s milk yet.) After a few days (or maybe a week or two?) of that schedule, I started replacing those 3 remaining nursing sessions with bottles.  
At first, Heidi refused to drink cow’s milk (especially cold), so I started off by giving her a bottle that was 75% breastmilk and 25% whole milk, warmed. (We did 6-8oz, 3 times per day as recommended by our pedi... one right when she woke up before breakfast, one right after lunch before nap and the last one after bath time right before bed.) Over the course of just a few days, I gradually mixed in less and less breast milk and also warmed it less and less. After less than a week she went from drinking mostly breastmilk (warm) to drinking 100% cold cow’s milk! Since we had only half-way transitioned to a sippy cup at that point, I just stuck with the bottle since that’s what we were familiar with and I was already overwhelmed with so many changes. (I was not concerned at that point with eliminating the bottle because I wanted her to chug 8 oz. of milk at one time - something that doesn't seem to happen with a sippy cup or straw.) We were using sippy cups for water during meals by that point though.  
During the week or two where I started replacing nursing sessions with the bottle… I don’t think I went into it with a specific schedule or plan. I just would nurse every now and then or if I woke up feeling especially engorged or something like that. By the time we were about a week out from her first birthday, my boobs had adjusted to nursing once every couple of days. I nursed her for the last time on the morning of her birthday! That was my finish line. Once I crossed that, I had to hand express while I was in the shower…maybe twice?...because I was starting to get a little uncomfortable. I had considered buying some raw cabbage leaves which are supposed to really help decrease your supply (you just put the cold leaves in your bra!) however, hand expressing seemed to do the trick. (It was a different kind of “engorged” feeling really… it was more like smaller hard painful spots rather than that feeling where your whole entire boob feels like it’s just about to explode! I think just that short amount of time was enough for my boobs to get the idea of what was going on.) I also regularly applied peppermint oil (diluted with almond oil) to help with stopping milk production.
So for us, weaning was a process that started very slowly around 6-9 months, and then between 11-12 months it all happened very quickly (and easily)! Since then, we have learned so much more about what works for us, what Heidi likes and how much she eats. She LOVES fruit but for a while we struggled with getting her to show interest in vegetables. Our pedi recommended veggie noodles - pasta that has 1 full serving of veggies in every serving! Heidi LOVES those and they have definitely a go-to for us for the last 4 months. We also tried Puffs for a while until Heidi had mastered picking stuff up and had gotten used to having food in her mouth (they disintegrate really fast so choking isn’t too much of an issue). However, puffs are expensive and are basically just air (you literally have to eat like, 65 puffs to get 25 calories!) So, we switched over to cheerios pretty quickly – way cheaper for WAY more and actually add SOME sustenance to her tummy! She loves those things. Our other focus was not to place TOO much emphasis on Heidi eating and not to stress out about it. Some days she eats a ton...and some days she doesn't eat that much. That's okay. Just like you and me, some days she is hungrier than other days. One day she LOVES something, the next day she hates it. So we have tried not to freak out over the small stuff. All has worked out just as it should. Hope this has been helpful to anyone confused/stressed/overwhelmed with the weaning process!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Breastfeeding Thoughts - Part 2

SO. Guys. I did it. I breastfed my baby for a FULL year. I never thought I would get there (especially in those first few months after Heidi was born). But I was determined. So the morning of Heidi's 1st birthday, I breastfed her for the last time. It was truly bittersweet. I was torn! I would miss it and my time with her and providing for her in a way that no one and no other thing possibly could. BUT. I was also so pumped for my body to be mine 100% again. No more boobie pads. No more easy-access shirts/outfits. Now that I have a year of breastfeeding under my belt, I figured it was about time to write a follow up post to my original breastfeeding post I wrote back when I was 21 weeks pregnant with Heidi.  At that time, I was super apprehensive about breastfeeding, it sounded terrible and foreign and strange... and my only experiences with it before having a child of my own was other peoples' babies turning their heads and trying to latch because I was holding them in "the" position - SO AWKWARD.  So I just felt awkward about the whole thing in general and was not looking forward to the physical "side effects".

Warning: If you are a brand new mom I suggest that you stop reading this now because it will make you want to scream, cry, freak out and roll on the ground and throw a toddler-style tantrum. Why you ask? (Yes, I know you will continue reading because I know you, new mom.) Breastfeeding sucks. Yeah, it sucks hardcore. It sucks for a LONG time before it gets easier. A long time meaning months. Months doesn't sound like that long of a time... except when you're talking about pure torture every 2.5 - 3 hours, with something pulling, sucking, gnawing on your poor, tender, cracked, bleeding, painful nipples. UGH. Maybe if it were once a day it would be more bearable. But it's not. If someone had told me 1 month into it "Just hang on for a few more months, then it will get easier!" I would have smacked them. Sorry new mamas.

And here's the thing. Breastfeeding wasn't even that difficult for me. Heidi had no latching issues, her "lip tie" (which I'm still not totally convinced is a real thing, but if it is I'm certain she has that based on appearance) didn't affect us in any way, and my only issues with supply was that I was producing WAY too much (which was such a blessing AND a curse.) My only struggles with breastfeeding were no one's but my own. Heidi knew what to do and was doing it perfectly. Breastfeeding was painful - because it's SUPPOSED to be. It's GOING to be. Regardless of how perfect everything is. Because it's new and no matter what kind of stuff you're into, I guarantee you that you have never experienced something sucking your nipples dry THAT many hours per day. My issues with breastfeeding (after Heidi was born) was just that it hurt. And my boobs hurt. And I was leaking ALL over the place constantly.  SOAKING maxi pads. I was constantly a wet, sticky, smelly, disgusting mess. Waking up in PUDDLES. Bra, shirt, sheets, soaked. There are SO many different kinds of issues and difficulties that come with breastfeeding, it can be hard to find women who have never had one single issue or difficulty or struggle with it at all. I would say most women that I know have had some sort of problem at one time or another with breastfeeding. Which, when you're already at your wit's end, can be enough to push you over the edge and give up all together. 

I am convinced that the only way that you can make breastfeeding work is if you are 110% determined. Much like a natural birth - if you go into it like "oh, let's see how this goes we will decide in the moment how to move forward" GUARANTEED you will not have a natural birth. Because it's hard. WAY harder than a non natural birth. (Not saying non-natural is not also extremely difficult, though I don't have any personal experience with this myself.) But it's too easy to give in if you aren't determined. (Even if you are determined you will still have moments where you want to give in to the drugs to take away the pain!) Similarly, breastfeeding also takes total determination and a decision that you have to make and stick to. You must give yourself no choice but to move forward with it no matter what. Quitting is not an option. Sounds kind of terrible doesn't it? It can be. But I promise it's worth it. For months, I had major breakdowns and would get physically ANGRY, saying to myself  "There are women who CHOOSE to do this for YEARS!!! HOW?!?! What is wrong with them!? This is the worst thing ever!" As much as I HATED it for the first several months, I knew that was the only thing I truly wanted. No other options. This was it. So I started setting small goals for myself. "Just make it to 6 weeks." "Okay a few more weeks." "Okay, just make it to 3 months....6 months..." I would say that I had FINALLY found my groove BY 6 months at the latest, and it was then that I knew for sure I was going to make it to a year. By 6 months, I was starting to feel way more comfortable with the idea, was used to the routine and all of the other aspects that came with it. I wouldn't say I ever super duper LOVED it, but I enjoyed our times together. Nursing in the backseat of the car after shopping together, or hanging out in the Nordstroms bathroom/lounge area with 5 other breastfeeding moms... it was also the perfect built in alone time for those times when my baby was constantly being held by friends/family... The perfect excuse to get her back and hold her and spend time with her. The convenience of it is insane (no packing anything related to food/bottles/etc. just bring your boobs!) and IT IS FREE. We never spent a dime on food/formula for Heidi during her first year of life. How awesome is that?? I can't believe more people don't breastfeed for this reason alone!

So my personal plan was to go into breastfeeding as a new mom with minimal knowledge about it, and to not over prepare. I never took a breastfeeding class. I didn't spend hours researching methods, positions, issues, etc. online. I didn't meet in advance with a lactation consultant. I simply spent 10-15 minutes watching youtube videos of a few different breastfeeding positions, googled "Breastfeeding 101" and read a few articles about the basics and that was it. Heidi popped out and knew what to do (although, over time she did improve and became more and more efficient!) I really felt like SHE taught ME! My minimal preparation method worked perfectly for us and though, we still had our own share of difficulty I never allowed myself to get overly stressed, or over think it... before OR after she was here! During pregnancy, I also thought I would spend 3 months pumping, and only breastfeed until Heidi was 3 months, then give her the frozen milk from 3-6 months. As nice as it was to have some breastmilk stashed in the freezer for backup (or for date nights away from baby!) I did not have enough stashed to stop breastfeeding without having to switch over to formula. Pumping is weird and not the worst thing in the world, but it is much more inconvenient than just pulling your shirt down for baby. It takes additional time. Time that is often hard to find with a newborn (especially when you don't HAVE to pump). I was pumping at least twice a day, but it does get old (and many women pump MUCH more than that! Mad props to you!) By 3 months, I knew I could make it to 6 months, and by 6 months I knew I could make it to a full year. So that plan quickly went out the window and I was totally okay with consciously making that decision.

This post is mostly just rambling, stream of consciousness, but I hope by witnessing this journey your eyes are opened to the difficulty, hardships, beauty and (dare I say) wonderfulness that it breastfeeding.  If you are on the fence about it... THAT'S OKAY.  If you're determined... just power through. It WILL get easier. Power through. Power through the tears. Through the discomfort. Through the pain. And if you truly truly just can't handle it, that's okay too. But if it's something that you truly TRULY have the desire to do, you have to hang in there. I know it's easy for me to say that now that I am on the other side, but I have been there. And I can guarantee you that IT. IS. WORTH IT. 100,000%.  Many many days it will feel like you just can't do it. But you can. I know you can, mama. Just hang in there a little bit longer. A few more days. (DAYS?!?! I know you're thinking.) Weeks. (WEEKS?!?!) Yes. One day at a time is all it takes. You can do it.